Only six uses of profanity and no intercourse does not make a PG-13 of a R

21 November 2007


I came across that picture on PostSecret and is it ever true.

I don’t know any of you have seen Beowulf yet, but if not, does this review not make you want to go? and I quote:

Beowulf the movie, based on the epic poem of the same name, is quite probably the most heinous culprit for stealing childhood from children ever made […] why must such great talent and genius be wasted on such content as in Beowulf? Art is not sin and sin is not art. But art becomes sin when art uses sin. […] Sexual Immorality found enough content to earn a score of zero out of 100. R-rated films earn scores of 54 and below. The Sexual Immorality content earned zero. The film is rampant with nudity. [**] Lots of nudity. Male. Female. Frontal. Side. Rear. There is no doubt watching this film will incite sexual thoughts and feelings — lust of the eyes — in your 13 year old kids […] Grendel murders one of Beowulf’s men by biting off and chewing the man’s head. Chewing, crunching and slurping are heard as the demon eats the man’s head. Grendel murders another man by crushing the man’s head between his hand […] And there is a suicide. A fine element of content for the middle school age stratum […] saturation of large parts of film time with full male and full female nudity, all sides and angles, male-specific anatomy always in the shadows or hidden by convenience objects with only the pubic hair missing in the female nudity, but in all cases all other anatomy and tissues visible […] excessive breast exposure, repeatedly […] attention to male crotch

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14 Responses

  1. anne says:

    "male-specific nudity"… That probably just made my day.

    I still don't want to see Beowulf, but now it's a much closer call.

  2. Kelly says:

    There is no doubt watching this film will incite sexual thoughts and feelings — lust of the eyes — in your 13 year old kids… hee. This review was written by a terrified parent, obviously. "Lust of the eyes" is a very biblical way of putting it, don't you think? Our children are headed for hell in a handbasket, held in the head-crushing hand of Grendel.

    My kids and their friends weren't impressed with the movie, though they'd been looking forward to it since first hearing about it. I'm sure they're all out having sex this very minute because of it, though.

  3. Harlequin says:

    Round Drawda the 13 year old kids are now having kids. It made the front page of the Drawda Indo.

    Speaking of Beowulf and his magnificent diphthong, mernember I asked you to hold off on seeing it so's we could see it together? Well, scratch that. I'm never getting down to the kino again. Well, not for a while anyway. Busybusybusy. So go ahead and see it and I'll go see it here.

    I went to see Copper o'er the weekend – the news is basically good but with some side-effecty annoyances. She's bored. I reckon she needs a DS or a PSP. Will give you the whole skinny at some stage. Maybe I'll ring you tomorrow. Who knows? Stranger things have happened.

  4. James says:

    I thought it was great… really good atmosphere. Does anyone in Ireland care about ratings anyway? It's not like you need ID to get into the cinema.

  5. Fence says:

    Anne, but, but, but, Ray Winstone!!! Who doesn't love Ray Winstone? I'll you who, silly peoples, thats who. And you aren't silly now, are you?

    All up to no god, that's for sure Kelly, sex and murder most likely. And I just love that phrase, lust of the eyes, it shall be my new catchphrase that I shall use forever and a day. Or until I forget about it. Whatever comes first.

    Well Drawda is a place of sin. And sin without art, so I'm not surprised. Won't be around this weekend, so I made the decision to go see Beowulf myself anyway.

    Am taking Friday off work and having a nice long 4 day weekend in order to celebrate thanksgiving.

    James the only time I care about them is when I go to see a horror and it turns out to only be 15s. Like with 30 days of night, from the trailers I was expecting 18s fare, but it was only 15s.

    I think it does mean that you get more yun uns in to annoy you as well

  6. Harlequin says:

    That's just as well – looks like I'm going to see Beowulf tonight *blush* If you're going home for Thanksgiving, give the Copper a ring, wudja?

  7. weenie says:

    Lots of nudity?

    I think I'll wait for the dvd, don't want to be sitting in the cinema amongst the sweaty-palmed 13 year olds…

  8. Harlequin says:

    Having just seen the fillum, I have to agree that the violence is somewhat more uber than one would expect for such a low-rated flick. The sex is not sex – it's just Angie and Ray (separately) flitting around in the nip. Which gets a big shruggy whatevs from me. But the lengthy, noisy head-chewing and the frequent eye-bursting and the all-round violence is very magnificent, very exciting and very icky. :-)

    I was surprised by the rating – it was waaaaay more violent than the 16 rated 30 Days of Night. But ratings often don't make much sense anyway.

  9. kyknoord says:

    Oh man, that review has just bumped the movie at least three slots up the priority list.

  10. Fence says:

    Weenie, sooo, you want to enjoy the nudity on your own then :)

    Aye H. I don't know if the violence is more than 30 days… after all there was a lot of blood splattering in that too. And Beowulf was 12A, I don't think there was anything there that any 13 year old hadn't seen before. The violence in 30 days… was darker, imo, this was pretty much just cool violence.

    Kyknoord, I'd say that was the desired result all right :)

  11. jean pierre says:

    please tell me that guy is some victorian who managed to find h.g. wells' time machine…

    hahaha! that is hilarious! and you're right, that DOES make me want to go see it. it probably makes it sound a lot more exciting than it really is, but what the hell!

  12. Carl V. says:

    I was super impressed with the animation, even more impressed with the 3-D effects, and was left disappointed by the film as a whole. The nudity, gore, etc. seemed to be magnified into silliness by the fact that this was an animated film. And the story just wasn't very good. I left with no emotional connection to any of the characters. Now I don't mind a good tragedy, but this just wasn't one. Pretty to look at, it really was. But ultimately flat.

  13. Fence says:

    Sorry JP, no time travel involved at all :)

    Carl I really wanted to love this film. And I did like it. I must do up a review at some stage. But I think overall I was disappointed too.

  14. jean pierre says:

    are you sure? 'cause that guy is just unreal! maybe he's been hiding under a rock all these years or, or i know! he IS h. g. wells! :)