Tag Archives: translated
The son
translated from French by Adriana Hunter It is eleven days since our first person narrator has died. He was just twenty one years old when m [...]
The Ice Palace
Siss is on her way through the dark evening to meet Unn. They have been going to school together ever since Unn came to live with her Auntie [...]
The Metamorphosis
translated by David Wyllie : Read online at Project Gutenberg Most people are probably somewhat familiar with Franz Kafka. When we hear that [...]
Manon Lescaut
Read online – Gutenberg This is a book I would never have picked up if not for the fact that it is on the reading list of an online co [...]
The Shadow of the wind
One of my RIP reads Translated from the Spanish by Lucia Graves Book 1 of The Cemetery of Forgotten Books In Barcelona a young boy is brough [...]
Sorry
translated from the German by Shaun Whiteside. Seeing a couple break-up in public Kris goes over to apologise to the woman. He tells her tha [...]
In the sea there are crocodiles
The story of Enaiatollah Akbari, trans. from the Italian by Howard Curtis When Enaiat is around ten his mother takes him from his village in [...]
The Islandman
Translated from the Irish (An tOileánach) by Robin Flower Tomás Ó Criomhthain, or, if you’d prefer an anglicised version, Thomas O& [...]
How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?
These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
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ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
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ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
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ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
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ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
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ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
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ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
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ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ.
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ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
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ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
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ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
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ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
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ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male.
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ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
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ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
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ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral…
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ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
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ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
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And last:
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No..
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.Reblogging because there are some sassy little shits out there.
ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED!?
Can we just take a moment to appreciate how diverse all the female body types are?
Up until recently it seemed like there was just a stock body shape for shows, and now I’m seeing so many different ones and it makes me happy. It’s just really lovely.
Adventure Time and Bravest Warriors both created by pen ward. Natasha Allegri is the creator of bee and puppycat, Rebecca Sugar is the creator of Steven Universe. Both have worked on Adventure Time as well.
