Rome 2.5 Heroes of the Republic dir. by

4 July 2007

Genre: ,
Cast: , ,
Setting: ,
Rated :

After the excitement of the last episode it seems that Timon has refound religion[1] as this episode begins with him and his brother praying at Temple. I do wonder will this last[2] But there isn’t too much time to think about this as soon we switch attention to Mark Anthony in the woods. With a beard. And a nasty, nasty beard it is too. So nasty we don’t really spend much time watching him gut the deer he’s been hunting. Instead we return to Lamb and Chicken, and the rescued children. Chicken suggests that they maybe shouldn’t return to the life of crime[3] and brutality, seeing as Anthony isn’t around and his orders really don’t stand. Lamb, of course, is steadfast in his duty and says that of course they will take up their old duties, keeping the peace through mafia-esque activities on the Avantine[4] While they discuss this, and meet up with some soldiers who fill in all the details about Caesar, we switch attention to the children in the back of the wagon. They are planning to run away, but must wait until they can make some money.

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Politics again; Caesar/Octavian meets up with Cicero, he wants his Triumph, but Cicero doesn’t agree. Eventually Caesar/Octavian lets[5] Cicero persuade him that he doesn’t need the triumph, and suggests maybe he could be made Consul. After all, it may be vanity, but it will please his men[6] We also get to see that Octavia isn’t too happy with her brother and his insistence that Atia must make the first move towards a reconciliation. Caesar/Octavian seems rather preoccupied with the fact that she had Mark Anthony beat him up. Eventually Octavia storms off in a bit of a huff.

Back with the lads. Remember Mascius, fellow ex-soldier? Well he has been running the Avantine in Vorenus’ absence, but after Vorenus introduces his family to the mafia-boys as ex-slaves and prostitutes[7] he tells Mascius that he is third in line, behind Vorenus himself and Pullo. Obviously Mascius isn’t too happy, he wants to be second, but Lamb is certain. Pullo is second, and will be till he dies[8]

Lydie shows up in order to see the children, she has joined some temple since Lamb and Chicken left on their rescue mission. Vorenus has no problem with her meeting the kids, but he makes it very very clear that they are staying with him. Eirene meanwhile isn’t too happy with Pullo. She accuses him of loving Vorenus more than her. Pullo assures her this isn’t true, and that if both were drowning in a river he would save her first. Awww. Only he then tells her, that after all, she is lighter and so would be easier to save[9]

Back with Caesar/Octavian and Atia has come a calling, begging for forgiveness. Calling herself a terrible mother. Caesar/Octavian shows that he still has something to learn about his mother, and forgives her. Happy family time.

Pullo pays a visit to Caesar/Octavian, but although they do discuss married life this isn’t purely social, Pullo is keeping Caesar/Octavian up to date with “his man” on the Avantine and the situation that may develop. Vorenus, after all, is still loyal to Anthony. Caesar/Octavian then heads off to the Senate, where he cunningly outwits Cicero and takes control. Nothing like the threat of an army to make the senators agree that those who assassinated Julius Caesar should be declared murderers and outlaws. Cicero[10] sends off a note to Brutus and Cassias.

Back on the Avantine the Vorenus’ two daughters begin make their move; stealing coin and adding it to their pile. Gaia[11] meanwhile offers herself to Vorenus, who takes up her offer, but while Gaia is adamant that she is not a whore Vorenus is determined[12] to pay her for her services.

Cut to a scene of strippers and “exotic dancers”, or the Roman equivalent, and an uncomfortable looking Agrippa[13] He doesn’t think that the two right hand men of upright, moral Caesar/Octavian should be at such a place, and tells his companion, the annoying poet dude Maecenas, so. He begins to leave, but spots Octavia and her “posh” tradesman’s daughter friend, and decides to take her with him. So he scoops her up and carries her off. As you do.

He leaves her back to her home, trying to keep her escapades under wraps, but of course Atia discovers him and asks him what exactly he is doing. He tells Octavia that she should tell her mother, and Octavia, protesting that Agrippa abducted her, tells Atia that she was at an orgy. Agrippa is quick to point out that it was the early stages of the orgy, and that nothing happened. Atia is not impressed, screaming that her brother is preaching piety and morals while she is out sucking slave cock. Agrippa intervenes once more to say that the orgy hadn’t gotten that far. He also swears that he won’t tell Caesar/Octavian, which gets Atia’s interest. Why wouldn’t he? Because he loves Octavia. Awww.

Cicero’s letter has arrived, and Brutus and Cassius discuss the matter, Brutus saying that this is their opportunity, that Caesar/Octavian could have united the senate, but now all he has done is divided them. This is their chance to return. And they write to Cicero with plans of their own.

Back on the Avantine the girls make their escape and head straight to Lydie. But she isn’t about to encourage them. What future would they have? How would they live? She asks. Besides, Vornus would never let them go. He would hunt them down. They must return, and even if they do hate their father they must never let him know. They must play at happy families. Reluctantly the elder agrees and brings the family back.

Once Cicero receives Brutus’ letter he demands that Caesar/Octavian surrender his army, because, as he delights in pointing out, Brutus has 20 legions, and will crush Caesar/Octavian. This sets Caesar/Octavian back a little, and he heads off to consult with Agrippa and Maecenas, but their meeting is interrupted by Atia…

Cut to Atia mounted upon a white horse, all dressed up and prettified, as she rides into Anthony’s camp. And after they get the important sexification out of the way Atia reveals why she has come. Caesar/Octavian and Mark Anthony are to make peace and form an alliance.

Final scene sees Vorenus and his daughters playing at Happy Families. Only he isn’t really playing, and they are lying. Poor Lamb.


  1. he must have had SOME religion in the first place so all I think that refound is accurate
  2. and indeed, what it will lead to. Nothing good and happy I’m betting
  3. he really has turned quite sensible
  4. order through chaos! peace through crime! etc
  5. I sense a plan
  6. aha!
  7. charming, dont you think
  8. – can you say planting ideas?
  9. – not-so aww
  10. naughty naughty
  11. I still don’t like her
  12. angry, insistent, implacable might be used to describe him
  13. I do like Agrippa

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