Dir: Sam Raimi
Writ: Sam Raimi, Ivan Raimi, & Alvin Sargent. Based on the comic by Stan Lee & Steve Ditko

• Tobey Maguire … Spider-Man/Peter Parker
• Kirsten Dunst … Mary Jane Watson
• James Franco … New Goblin/Harry Osborn
• Thomas Haden Church … Sandman/Flint Marko
• Topher Grace … Venom/Eddie Brock
• Bryce Dallas Howard … Gwen Stacy
• James Cromwell … Captain Stacy
• Bruce Campbell … Maître d’

I wasn’t a huge fan of the first two spiderman films; I enjoyed them but didn’t LOVE them. They were good, solid entertainment. Two was probably a little better, though I may feel that way because I recently rewatched it when it was shown on the telly a few weeks ago. This one isn’t so good. It is too long. There are too many characters. And worst of all, unlike the second, it has no heart to it.

It felt stop-start, as though they had too many characters and story-lines and couldn’t figure out to make then all work together properly, nothing seemed to fit.

I’ve never been a huge fan of Spiderman, or of Peter Parker for that matter, and in this film I just couldn’t care less what happened him. James Franco was more interesting as Harry. There was nothing to grip the viewer, and while the special effects were excellent you really need a good story to hang them on. This was all pretty curtains and no foundation.

And the cocky version of Peter Parker? That was just weird and stupid. Yes at first it was a little entertaining to see him strut, but after 2 seconds it became creepyfing, and disturbing. And the dancing! wtf!

There is nothing hideous and terrible about the film. You’ll watch, you’ll be entertained and maybe a little bored, I do recall checking my watch and thinking with a sinking heart that there was still an hour to go, but it picked up a little, so I wasn’t eyeing the exit all the way through. Totally worthy of a meh. Too many storyiideas with not enough development

I also took issue with the amount of time Parker wandered about in his Spidey outfit, only with the mask off. Either he has a secret identity or he doesn’t. Half the city should know who he really is if he has as little care as that.

IMDb | I.P. | SSD | Billie Doux | Joe Blade| Thu Tu’s blog

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Dir: Stephen Bradley
Writ: Derek Landy

• Samantha Mumba … Jessica
• David Leon … Nathan
• Tadhg Murphy … Diggs
• Laurence Kinlan … Henry
• Sara James … Cheryl
• Deirdre O’Kane … Grace
• Doreen Keogh … Mrs. Brumble
• Bryan Murray … Mr. Frears

You know the old story; Boy meets girl. Boy falls in love with girl. Something gets in the way of true love, but they over come it to live happily ever after? Well, I suppose this fills all those clichés only as well as the teen angst we get zombies and gore. Nathan is good friends with Jessica but he wishes that they could be more then friends. He doesn’t ask her out because he is worried that she’ll say no and then their friendship will get all weird. His friends Henry and Diggs persuade him to act. If by persuade you mean they send a text from Nathan’s mobile and arrange a meeting with Jessica. But Jessica’s father tells her she isn’t allowed to leave the house, so poor Nathan is left waiting. Eventually he leaves, just in time to see Jessica, who had escaped her father’s watchful eye, in the local “stud’s” car. So obviously he thinks the worst and heads home to drown his sorrow in whiskey. And ends up dead.

His mother however has different ideas. Earlier she stumbled upon a hidden crypt in the local church and a book of resurrection. So like any good Mammy she brings her son back from the dead. Only there is a slight problem. His sudden hunger for human flesh.

There is nothing all that bad about this film, but there isn’t much that is great either. The zombie storyline takes too long to get started, although when it does there is plenty of gore and blood flying about to help pass the time. It also isn’t specifically an Irish film, in fact it is quite Americanised, although who knows, maybe secondary school students do all drive to school now. It is a fun no-brain way to pass the time. Nothing more, or less.

Actually the most note-worthy thing about this film is the fact that it was temporarily banned here in Ireland. Bloody censorship is just crap, especially considering that this is now rated 15. Oh, and that the snake in it is called Buffy. And he^[1] gets his own picture in the end credits.

IMDb | Official site

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Dir: Robert de Niro
Writ: Eric Roth

• Matt Damon - Edward Bell Wilson
• Angelina Jolie - Clover/Margaret Ann Russell
• Alec Baldwin - Sam Murach
• Tammy Blanchard - Laura

This is the story of Edward Wilson, a man who has believed in the United States of America all his life, who has always done what he thinks is right, a spy, a husband, a father. The story of the emergence of the CIA, of the Cold War, of Castro and Cuba, of relationships and love and loyalty and family. Of secrets and lies, or truth and betrayal.

Surely with all that going on it should have been a good, film?
Not so much. My god! was I ever bored sitting through this. The character of Edward Wilson was not a verbose one, which is fine, if you get across that there is something going on underneath the quiet. Not here. Damon came across as merely dumbstruck. There was never any real indication of his abilities as a spy, just a lot of him standing there, silent.

And at 167 minutes long, you really should have someone that the audience can engage with. Whether to root for, or despise, or just be interested in. I didn’t care about any of what was going on. The only thing that maybe worked, was the sense that in the end it was all worthless. The Cold War, the espionage, which side you were on — it all meant nothing. But that wasn’t pushed enough either. Instead it came across as a boring, boring film. Occasionally while watching I did think to myself, oh that’s a nice shot, but nice shots don’t make a film. And neither do attempts to mean something. Your film has to either entertain, or have meaning. This had neither.

IMDb | Film School Rejects | Blogalism | Mellow-Drama

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Dir: Mel Gibson
Writ: Mel Gibson, Farhad Safina

• Rudy Youngblood - Jaguar Paw
• Dalia Hernandez - Seven
• Jonathan Brewer - Blunted

I’m not really too sure what to say about this film, because I came out of it thinking “what was the point?”
The story is a fairly simple one; Jaguar Paw is captured by an evil tribe who want to rip his heart out in sacrifice to the gods. He on the other hand doesn’t want this to happen, especially as he has left his heavily pregnant wife and young son hiding, and now trapped, back near his village.

Yes it looks great, and yes it keeps you interested, but it really isn’t anything more than that. If this had been shot in English I’m guessing that it would have had no more comment than any other action flick. Instead, because it of its setting and the language used it has had all this media hype. But in the end, it is nothing more than an action/adventure film with plenty of blood splattered about the shop. There are no real characters to the film. Jaguar Paw is the hero; okay so at the beginning his father warns him not to have fear, but that is essentially his character, to be the hero. Other characters are similarly lacking in depth. There is the evil sadistic bad-guy, the evil just-doing-his-job bad guy. The comic relief guy, blah, blah, blah.

There are good things about the film, the actors do well in the roles they are given, but they are never overly stretched. The action is gripping, and you’ll be entertained. But in the end I was left with a sense of “and your point is?”

And as for this whole notion that the film is about the downfall of the Mayan empire, it isn’t. Yes, it shows the Mayan’s and their great city, and their cutting the still beating hearts out of their enemies’ bodies, but that is just to provide something for Jaguar Paw to fear and run from. The Mayans here are simply the generic bad guys of any action film.

R.e.y.m.o.v.i.e.s | Is Apocalypto Pornography? [archaeology.org] | Critic After Dark | Confessions of a Film Critic
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Dir: Gabriele Muccino
Writ: Steve Conrad

• Will Smith - Chris Gardner
• Jaden Smith - Christopher
• Thandie Newton - Linda

At the start of the film Linda is pulling double shifts while Chris is out selling bone density machines, struggling to make ends meet and support their young son Christopher. Things are not going well, the bone density machine isn’t selling as well as Chris had hoped and he had invested all his money in it. They are behind on the rent and nothing seems to be going their way. Their marriage too is under pressure and when Linda gets the offer of a job in New York she takes it, leaving Christopher behind with his father.

Chris, inspired to become a stoke-broker because he saw a shiny car, applies for an internship, and gets it, only to discover that it is unpaid.

He can’t pay the rent and is forced from his apartment to a motel, but can’t afford that and ends up spending the night in a train station, all the time trying to take care of his son. They move from homeless shelter to shelter, all the while Chris is trying to be the best intern at the stockbrokers, to be the one they offer a job to, all in the pursuit of happiness.

Acting-wise this is a good film. Will Smith has shown that he can handle more serious characters and is entirely believeable here. His son, Jaden plays his on scren son and is really fantastic. But I just couldn’t get behind the central messge of this film, which seemed to me to be “aim as high as you can, because if you try hard enough you will succeed and it will all be worth it”.

I don’t buy that.

What if there had been another intern in a similar position to our hero? One of them would have come away with nothing, and ended up on the streets, pursuing happiness is all well and good, but you have to deal in reality. We are constantly shown there happy ever after success stories, but what about all those people who go after this great prize only to fail? We don’t get to see their stories, yet surely their warnings are just as important as the rarer winners?

And then there is Chris’s message to his son, never let anyone tell you what you can’t do, never accept limits but find out what you want and go for it, don’t let anything stop you achieving it. Never let anyone tell you that you can’t do something.
Am I the only one a little disturbed by how selfish and stupid that message is?

IMDb | Blogcritics | Pajiba -Scathing reviews for bitchy people | Alas, A blog

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Author: John Crowley
ISBN: 0413513505
DDC: 813.54
See also: LibraryThing ; Spike Magazine

On a certain day in June, 19-, a young man was making his way on foot northwood from the great City to a town or place called Edgewood.

This book, one of the classics of fantasy literature, did absolutely nothing for me. Okay, that is a slight exageration, because there were some touches that appealed to me. The whole fairy tale atmosphere. The house of different fronts. The randomness of so much of it. And even the language was appealing on occasion. But overall it was all a load of nothingness that I neither enjoyed nor hated. It simply was there. And the interesting lines, descriptions and ideas did nothing to help the sluggish nature of the book. There wasn’t any real story that appealed to me, and none of the characters seemed all that well drawn to me. They were all there to play a role.

Maybe that was the idea, they were after living the Tale. But it wasn’t enough to keep me interested through all those pages when nothing was going on. And even when things were happening, it read as though nothing was occuring.

“It’s as though,” Daily Alice said, “each day is like a step, and every step takes you further away from - well, from when things made more sense.

Well, reading this book was like an exercise in futility. Each paragraph was a step away from a story and into a desciption, but a description that didn’t really matter, entertain or interest me.

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