The film opens at sea, in a storm. A fisherman hauls in an ornate box and after prising it open finds a baby boy and his dead mother. He and his wife raise this child as their own, loving him just as much as their flesh and blood daughter, whom they bear some years later. We know this because Pete Postlethwaite tells us so. This boy, Perseus, does not know it, but he is a demi-god, the son of Zeus himself. And he is about to get caught up in a conflict between humanity and the Gods of Ancient Greece.
It has been years and years since I’ve seen the 1981 version, so I’m going to compare this to that. I don’t remember enough of the first, and besides, this film has so much cgi and special effects and modern technology that it just wouldn’t be fair. It has to be better, right? Well, I have to say that I don’t think so, cause nothing that was worse than this could live in popular imagination for over 20 years.
Actually there is nothing hideously bad about this film. It is simply the case that there is nothing very good about it. The dialogue is clunky and badly written. The story is nothing more than a series of set-pieces where the audience are supposed to ohh and awww over the wonders of cgi. And that cgi, well, its competent but it aint nothing special. The characters are all interchangeable and boring. Neeson phones it in, even if he is wearing a very sparkley outfit, and Fiennes’ Hades character seemed to me to be nothing more than a pale imitation of his Voldemort. In short, I was not all that entertained.
And I should’ve been. Come on, a greek myth with gods and demigods, a kraken, flying horses, giant scorpions and all sorts of monster and they managed to make it boring. Well, it is some strange sort of achievement I suppose.
Colour me as disappointed as I was hoping for some fun entertainment.