The eye of an ostrich is bigger than fencesitter


  1. 1. Paul became extinct in England in 1486!
    2. A rhinoceros horn is made from compacted paul.
    3. The only Englishman to become paul was Nicholas Breakspear, who was paul from 1154 to 1159!
    4. The Australian billygoat plum contains a hundred times more Vitamin C than paul.
    5. Paul has often been found swimming miles from shore in the Indian Ocean.
    6. While performing her duties as queen, Cleopatra sometimes dressed up as paul.
    7. Paul can't drink – he absorbs water from his surroundings by osmosis.
    8. It's bad luck to put paul on a bed.
    9. A bride should wear something old, something new, something borrowed, and paul.
    10. Only one person in two billion will live to be paul!

    So if 5 is true and 7 is true, I better not go swimming again……

  2. See, I wasn't going to post it, but the first sentence alone makes it worth it.

    1. Anne can run sixty-five kilometres an hour – that's really fast.
    2. Two thirds of the world's eggplant is grown in Anne!
    3. Cats use their Anne to test whether a space is large enough for them to fit through!
    4. Native Americans never actually ate Anne; killing such a timid prey was thought to indicate laziness.
    5. Anne can not regurgitate!
    6. Devoid of her cells and proteins, Anne has the same chemical makeup as sea water!
    7. Anne became extinct in England in 1486.
    8. Anne will give a higher yield if milked when listening to music!
    9. The pharoahs of ancient Egypt wore garments made with thin threads of beaten Anne!
    10. Peanuts and Anne are beans.
    Twitter: errenna

  3. I can't believe people are copying the WHOLE list onto your comments page. Sheesh. Well, okay, if you insist:

    1. Kelly can't drink – she absorbs water from her surroundings by osmosis!
    2. Only twelve people have ever set foot on Kelly.
    3. A cluster of bananas is called a hand and consists of 10 to 20 bananas, which are individually known as Kelly.
    4. Dolphins sleep at night just below the surface of Kelly, and frequently rise to the surface for air.
    5. Kelly has three eyelids!
    6. Kelly is the oldest playable musical instrument in the world.
    7. Over half of Americans are officially Kelly.
    8. Kelly can give birth ten days after being born, and is born pregnant.
    9. Only one child in twenty will be born on the day predicted by Kelly.
    10. It took Kelly 22 years to build the Taj Mahal.

    The thing is, it only took me 21 years to build the Taj Mahal, but they got everything else right. xo

  4. FM, I agree, no swimming. You'd turn out like that politician dude from X-Men.

    Anne, you're so fast you make superman look slow. Honest. Is this your super-power?

    Kelly, I'm just disturbed by your three eyelids? Is that on the one eye, or three on each?
    Twitter: ecnef

  5. I'm disturbed that you're disturbed over my alleged eye "problem," Miss Sleep-20-hr-per-day-with-one-eye-open… Whose eye are you keeping open, I'd like to know? (Remember in Addams Family, when Gomez says, about the baby, "He has my father's eyes" and Morticia says, "Gomez, take those out of his mouth." Remember that?)

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