Susan Hated Literature

or Man cheng jin dai huang jin jia
Dir: Yimou Zhang Writ: Yimou Zhang & Yu Cao

• Yun-Fat Chow - Emperor Ping
• Li Gong - Empress Phoenix
• Jay Chou - Prince Jai
• Ye Liu - Crown Prince Wan
• Junjie Qin - Prince Yu

Set in the Tang dynasty in the 10th Century, this film tells the tale of the Emperor Ping and his cold war with his wife, Empress Phoenix, as well as both of their attempts to influence the three princes. The eldest, Crown Prince Wan’s mother was the Emperor’s first wife, has been raised by Phoenix as well as her two sons. But the emperor is not happy with his wife. As her father is an important neighbouring king he cannot do away with her in the open and instead decides that as she is “sick” she needs to take her medicine. Medicine that he has formulated, and which includes a poison that will slowly cause damage and leave her nothing but a vegetable. Obviously she doesn’t want this to happen and so makes other plans.

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Dir & Writ: Kevin Munroe
Comic characters created by Peter Laird & Kevin Eastman

• Mitchell Whitfield - Donatello (voice)
• James Arnold Taylor - Leonardo (voice)
• Mikey Kelley - Michelangelo (voice)
• Nolan North - Raphael
• Chris Evans - Casey Jones (voice)
• Sarah Michelle Gellar - April O’Neil (voice)
• Mako - Master Splinter (voice)
• Patrick Stewart - Max Winters (voice)
• Laurence Fishburne - Narrator (voice)
• Ziyi Zhang - Karai (voice)

Come on now, who doesn’t love the “heroes in a half-shell”? The main reason I went to see this was that is was on at the right time, and of course the nostalgia reason. Plus I haven’t been to see an animated film in a while. And this looks fantastic. Visually it is really great.

The plot, characters, and dialogue are less impressive, but still make for a fun trip to the cinema. We don’t get any origin story, just a voice over to bring us up to date on what is going on with the turtles. Leonardo is off in the jungles of South America, supposedly learning to be a leader, or at least that was the reason Splinter sent him off. Luckily enough April is poking around, looking for some statue, when she finds him and tells him that things aren’t going to well without him.

Don’t worry, he eventually makes a return to the sewers, and then discovers that the statue April brought back has come to life. Or back to life. See, 3,000 years ago there was this… ah, you don’t really want to know the plot do you? It’s the turtles, how involved could it possibly be?

Everything that fans remember is there; Splinter being all wise and kick-ass, Michelangelo stuffing his face with pizza, Donatello working with techy-type things and the constant conflict between Leo and Raphael^[1] So there is plenty to keep your attention, and it is exactly what it should be. A fun, entertaining film.

Official Site | IMDb | SciFiChick | | Cinematical | Film School Rejects

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Dir: Neil Burger
Writ: Neil Burger based on short story Eisenheim the Illusionist by Steven Millhauser

• Edward Norton - Eisenheim
• Paul Giamatti - Inspector Uhl
• Jessica Biel - Sophie
• Rufus Sewell - Crown Prince Leopold

In Austria at the turn of the 20th century a young carpenter’s son falls in love with a girl from the local nobility. Obviously her family are not impressed by this and do their best to separate the pair, and after much drama they succeed. The young boy is Eisenheim, aka Eduard Abramovich, and at the very beginning of this film we see him on stage in Vienna. As he begins his act he is promptly arrested by Inspector Uhl. Uhl then heads off to debrief the Crown Prince Leopold, and as he does we get to see all the back story too.

I loved the look of this film. Visually it worked really really well. Such a pity then that the rest of the film fell short. I never got a sense of Eisenheim as a character. Yes, we know that he loves Sophie, who by now is unofficially engaged to the Leopold, but as for the rest of his character? Nothing. Sophie is slightly more understandable. She has grown up knowing that eventually she’ll have to marry for the good of her family, but yet was never able to forget her teenage love. Leopold is another character fairly lacking in development. He’s the badguy. And that is about it. Inspector Uhl is probably the most rounded of the main characters, and he is played superbly by Giamatti.

If I’m going to be brutally honest I was a little bored by this film. Possibly because I had a fair idea of what was going to happen all along. Show Spoilers ▼

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Dir: Zack Snyder
Writ: Zack Snyder, Kurt Johnston, Michael Gordon and based on the graphic novel 300 by Frank Miller & Lynn Varley

• Gerard Butler - King Leonidas
• Lena Headey - Queen Gorgo
• Dominic West - Theron
• David Wenham - Dilios
• Vincent Regan - Captain
• Michael Fassbender - Stelios
• Tom Wisdom - Astinos
• Rodrigo Santoro - Xerxes

I have a feeling that how you feel at the end of seeing this film will be hugely coloured by your mindset before the film began. Personally I loved it. Wonderful visuals and a great story. Wasn’t overly impressed with the characterisation, but you can’t have everything.

The film begins with a voice-over, and this narrator pipes up throughout the film, sometimes describing the action that we are watching on screen. I have no doubt that some will find this redundant, but, given the ending and who the narrator is I think this device actually works really well. Plus he does add to the melodramatic, over the top atmosphere that make this such a good film.

Overblown and over the top, almost pompous in its grand vision. And yet it just works. Somehow they’ve managed to draw the viewer in, using dialogue and visuals that could so easily have done nothing but remind you that this is a highly stylised film. The visuals are often lacking in realism. The characters are larger than life, the action is brutal, the culture hugely strange. And it is great.

There were one or two instances when I did find myself thinking that the constant references to freedom and the evil tyrant were overdone and not a little incorrect given the fact that if you were a slave in Spartan society then life back then was pretty far from easy. But this isn’t really historical fiction, it is an action film, and as such it is almost perfect. I also loved the soundtrack. So much so that I did just try and buy it online, but the official website wants you to use iTunes, I don’t, so I was forced into borrowing it.

Top marks all around for a violent, visceral, blood-splattered film, and I can’t finish my review without saying, my god, did you see those abs?

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El Laberinto del Fauno
Dir & Writ: Guillermo del Toro

• Ivana Baquero - Ofelia
• Sergi López - Capitán Vidal
• Maribel Verdú - Mercedes
• Ariadna Gil - Carmen
• Doug Jones - Fauno

I really wanted to go see this film ever since I heard about it, and yer wan at the desk who tried to put me off by saying “you know it is in Spanish with subtitles” didn’t succeed. The story revolves around Ofelia, an 11 year old girl whose mother has married Captain Vidal and is expecting his child. It is 1944, and Vidal is an officer in Franco’s army, hunting down guerillas in the mountains. Vidal is about as far from a nice chap as you can get, and throughout the film his actions are among the most violent and gruesome on screen. He has no humanity, only caring about ridding the world of the guerillas and cleansing Spain so his son can grow up in a new world. Franco has won the war and he intends to show those still fighting what that means, even if he has to kill every last one of them and their sympathisers.

But on the journey to the Captain’s stronghold Ofelia stumbles across a carved stone statue, and crawling out of it, some sort of an insect. She, however, doesn’t see an insect, instead she calls it a fairy, and later when she shows this insect a picture in one of her books the creature transforms in front of her to take on the more usual appearance of a small person with wings.

Ofelia follows this fairy into the nearby ruin of a labyrinth where she meets with Pan, although he never calls himself by that name, merely stating that he is a faun. He tells her that she isn’t really human, but instead is a Princess in an otherworldly kingdom, where her father is waiting for her return. However, in order to prove that she hasn’t become too mortal she must perform 3 tasks and prove herself worthy to return.

Visually this film is just lovely too watch, but there are also plenty of scenes that’ll make you want to look away. It may be a fantasy film but it is for adults, not children. There is plenty of evidence of the darker side of life; death and torture are everywhere. And the plot is just as good as the images on screen. The characters are believable, even the Captain who is irredeemable and totally evil.

The actor playing Ofelia is a real find, totally believable in her role and never even verging towards “annoying kid in film”.

If you get the chance you really should catch this film. It is dark and sinister, full of cruelty and yet strangely whimsical and charming. The music is also great. You can listen to quite a bit of it on the official site.

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