Susan Hated Literature

May 06 2006

Chronicles of Riddick

Published by Fence under Moving Pictures

Dir & Writ: David Twohy
Writ: Jim Wheat & Ken Wheat

Vin Diesel - Riddick
Colm Feore - Lord Marshal
Thandie Newton - Dame Vaako
Judi Dench - Aereon
Karl Urban - Vaako
Alexa Davalos - Kyra

I’m a big fan of Pitch Black, that low budget horror in space. And I used to be a big fan of Vin Diesel’s but recent film-roles have made me all a bit meh. Still, I’m surprised it took me this long to get around to watching this film, but I finally caved and got the dvd last week. And I’m not too disapointed that I waited so long, because to be honest this film is trying so hard to be something that it isn’t.

I’m not sure why they bothered to keep the name of Riddick, marketing I suppose. Because this film is totally unrelated to the original. The universe we are shown in Chronicles is totally unlike that of Pitch Black, and the characters are also pretty unrecognisable, those few who actually survived the first film.

But lets ignore all that and try to treat Chronicles as though it were a standalone film, with no history.

It is a sci-fi film, one of those with the clichÃ©d army of evil. Here in the form of Necromongers, an army who are trying to convert or kill all the planets of the universe in order to reach their promised land, the Under-verse. It tries to get out of the stereotype by having this evil army do battle, not with good, but with a “different sort of evil”. Trouble is it doesn’t really work, because in this film Riddick isn’t really all that evil. Sure he kills people but what action hero doesn’t? And everyone he kills here was actually trying to kill him first. Fair enough I suppose, maybe the ending of PB really did change him.

Overall this is a question of style over substance. Style over story. And style over characters.

And yes, it all looks great. In a “look at all our cool spaceships”. And they try and make this intricate back story about the Necromongers and the Furyans (I don’t really care how it should be spelled), and invents this reason why Riddick is so great at killing. But it just doesn’t work for me. None of the characters have even half the presence of those in PB. I did quite enjoy Karl Urban’s Vaako, but not enough to make up for the rest of the film’s shortcomings.

It is an average enough film. Nothing spectacularly bad about it, but nothing great either. Though I’ve heard that the director’s cut makes it a better film overall. I can’t say, I watched the theatrical cut.

Tags: 6 Stars, Alexa Davalos, average, Chronicles of Riddick, clichÃ©d, Colm Feore, David Twohy, Jim Wheat, Judi Dench, Karl Urban, Ken Wheat, Riddick, sequel, sff, style over substance, stylish, Thandie Newton, Vin Diesel

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Jul 24 2005

The Pacifier

Published by Fence under Moving Pictures

Vin Diesel …. Shane Wolfe
Lauren Graham …. Principal Claire Fletcher
Faith Ford …. Julie Plumm

Terrible, terrible film. But then again we already knew that from the poster didn’t we. And the premise was horrible. I blame Copper-copper for asking me did I want to go.

Shane Wolfe is a navy seal who ends up babysitting some kids as their mother heads off to Switzerland to try and gain access to a security deposit bank. In the process she meets a person with the worst French-type accent I have ever heard. Ever. Yes, it was that bad.

Most of the film revolves around the humourous escapades of Wolfe as he attempts to teach these children discipline, and they in turn try to escape, before, eventually, coming to realise how great he is. Wolfe learns that family and love are great things. Sounds fantastic doesn’t it.

I suppose it isn’t all bad. I mean there are one or two laughs in it. The girl asking about Wolfe’s boobs stands out It is aimed at children and there were a fair few in the cinema who seemed to enjoy it.