Mar 03 2006

I’m fine. I just threw up in my mouth a little bit

Published by Fence under TV

Tonight, 12.00[1] sees a fantastic oppertunity for all British and Irish TV watching individuals[2] because, and I want you all to take a seat so the wonder won’t knock you from your feet[3] Nick Fury: Agent of Shield starring The Hoff is showing.

Hooo-yay!
I say again, Hoooo-the fuck-yay!

But the world is not filled with good news, there is still a cloud blotting out most of the silver. Internet access at work is as hassle-full as yesterday. So if I seem to be ignoring you I’m not really saying you should Rack off, you dag[4] but simply have been unable to read/reply because webland is in open revolt.

I am however, proud to bring you an update in the War of Everyday Items:
Last night, as I watched Bones I became aware that something horrific had occurred. I believe a blade of popcorn[5] was responsible for slicing my tongue open[6]

So not only was there a physical attack, but I believe that the television has joined in and is waging psychological warfare. Nothing so overt as constantly showing those bloody Meteor adverts, but much more subtle than that. For as I watched Eastenders last evening[7] I was actually feeling sorry for one of the characters[8] Normally I watch this show laughing away in my head[9] at how they manage to make everyone’s lives so depressing and shudderific[10]

But feeling sympathy for one of the characters. This has never before happened. Things have gone too far I tell you, too far. What’s next? Thinking that Mike Baldwin from Coronation Street is sexy[11]

Linknotes:
  1. or should that be tomorrow ↩
  2. as long as they have access to UTV ↩
  3. or indeed the horror if you are unable to view I/UTV ↩
  4. Why am I speaking Aussi soap? ↩
  5. I didn’t know popcorn came in blades, but really, it is the only rational explanation ↩
  6. some slight exaggeration may be taking place ↩
  7. just shut-up okay, I can watch crappy soaps if I want ↩
  8. Stacey, with her bitchy-tough girl attitude only to have her only friend Ruby ignore her, awwwww ↩
  9. not as mad as it sounds, honest. ↩
  10. although I was possibly scared for life by the Pat & Patrick affair storyline, my eyes that saw, and my ears that heard! The horror ↩
  11. - excuse me while I go vomit ↩
Tags: Eastenders, Nick Fury, popcorn, The Hoff, War of Everyday Items

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Feb 07 2006

You are about as much fun as a divorce, which is not a bad idea

Published by Fence under Ramblings

Just in the door and I noticed the photocopier was out of paper, so I filled it. Then I noticed the toner light was flashing. Damnations. So I get toner thingy from press and mess and fiddle and put toner in machine. But the evil ink did fly through the air as I was finishing and now I have a lovely black spot on my shirt. I mean, you’d think it could have landed on my trousers, or jacket, both of which are already black, but no.

After this tale of woe, cheer yourself up by taking this quiz which was stolen from criminalenglish[1] :


Knight Rider Hasselhoff

You are Knight Rider Hasselhoff. You kick ass, you’re dead sexy, AND you are the proud owner (or perhaps life partner) of a talking black Trans-Am. What else could one ask for?

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

Had a very weird dream. Was at some music awards show, don’t know why, the music was all crap. And NM, your brother showed up, having just won the award for best new Westlife band! I don’t know, dreams are strange.

Anways, after listening to rubbish pop we[2] suddenly ended up in a rabbit factory. Where (squeamish? then look away) rabbits were turned into burgers by throwing them into big mincing type machines. But as I watched one little white rabbit try to avoid being mushed all I was thinking was “Thats stupid. They should skin the rabbits first. Who wants to eat a burger and have a load of fluff in your mouth.”

There was more. But I don’t remember now. Still, all that is more than weird enough to keep people wondering.

Linknotes:
  1. edited to fix the spelling ↩
  2. I don’t know who the other people were, but they were there ↩
Tags: dream, quiz, The Hoff

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Aug 16 2005

The Hoff needs your vote

Published by Fence under Ramblings

The HoffWe all know how great an actor David Hasselhoff is. We’ve worshipped him in Baywatch, who could forget those slow motion rescues. We praised him for Knight Rider, although maybe we thought Kitt was cooler.
But up until now only the Germans have truly appreciated his singing career[1] Only they had the chance to see him, in the flesh.

Now Ireland may just be that lucky. Come on, sign the petition. Make Hoffsegen real. Bring The Hoff to Oxegen[2]

Remember, the Hoff loves you, and now he needs you to sign the petition.

Linknotes:
  1. Hoff-himself - just read these reviews. ↩
  2. Thats the way THEY spell it. Don’t ask me why, google would have to answer, if it can ↩
Tags: The Hoff

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