Susan Hated Literature

The Transporter
Dir: Louis Leterrier & Corey Yuen
Writ: Luc Besson & Robert Mark Kamen
Starring:

• Jason Statham … Frank Martin
• Qi Shu … Lai
• Matt Schulze … Wall Street
• François Berléand … Tarconi
• Ric Young … Mr. Kwai

Transporter 2
Dir: Louis Leterrier
Writ: Luc Besson & Robert Mark Kamen
Starring:

• Jason Statham … Frank Martin
• Alessandro Gassman … Gianni
• Amber Valletta … Audrey Billings
• Kate Nauta … Lola
• François Berléand … Tarconi

First Bourne, now Frank, I must seriously be in the mood for action flicks, don’t you think? Of course The Transporter is a lot sillier than the Bourne films. But just as fun.

The first starts off with Frank, the Transporter of the title, driving the getaway car for a bank robbery. A scenario used to show us all just how cool, calm, and collected he is. Oh yeah, and what a great driver he is. And also to introduce us to “the rules” by which he transports.

Continue Reading »

Related posts

• Die Hard 4.0 (3)
• Crank (4)
• TMNT (2)
• The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift (5)
• Pathfinder (0)

Or, Live Free or Die Hard as it is in the states
Dir: Len Wiseman
Writ: Mark Bomback, David Marconi; some characters: Roderick Thorp; A Farewell to Arms by John Carlin

• Bruce Willis … John McClane
• Timothy Olyphant … Thomas Gabriel
• Justin Long … Matt Farrell
• Maggie Q … Mai Lihn
• Cliff Curtis … Bowman
• Kevin Smith … Warlock
• Mary Elizabeth Winstead … Lucy McClane

What better way to mark America’s Independence Day than with a trip to see this film? The makers of Die Hard 4.0 obviously agreed with me, why else would they have had it open on Wednesday otherwise? And it was the perfect popcorn action flick. Not a lot of plot, or character, but plenty of explosions and much violence. Remember violence from 80’s films? It was all about the death count, the casual shootings, and the big explosions, not like the torture and slow deaths you are more likely to see today.

The plot isn’t that important. Suffice to say that there are bad guys. They do bad things. John McClane stops them. End of, baby, end of.

Course the fact that Willis is now in his fifties might make you wonder does he make a believable action hero. And I’d have to say yes. Totally believable. Afterall, if Rocky could do it, then so can McClane. And yes, it is silly, at one stage McClane “kills a helicopter” with his car. But it is also totally enjoyable and entertaining. And the action scenes are damn cool.

I guess you could say that I enjoyed this film. Just don’t think too hard about it, or wonder at the fact that the bad-guy is a carefully chosen american, and that there is mix of ethnicities to the cast. Guess they didn’t want to bring too much politics into this film, and that is as it should be.

Course, maybe I enjoyed it so much cause I’ve always been a Bruce Willis fan, right from those Moonlighting days. As for recommending people to go see it, well it is a total no brainer. Do you like action films? If so go. If you are in the mood for something with plot and storylines and want to think then I’d give it a miss. But if you are a fan you’ll love it, just try and catch it on the big screen cause I’m guessing it won’t be as much fun at home.

IMDb | Stainless Steel Droppings | Full2 Fallto | LifeParticles | hint of sarcasm

Related posts

• The Transporter, 1 and 2 (0)
• Hitman (6)
• TMNT (2)
• The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift (5)
• The Bourne Ultimatum (6)

Dir: Tim Story
Writ: Don Payne, Mark Frost, John Turman. Characters created by Stan Lee & Jack Kirby.

1. Ioan Gruffudd … Reed Richards
2. Jessica Alba … Sue Storm
3. Chris Evans … Johnny Storm
4. Michael Chiklis … Ben Grimm
5. Julian McMahon … Victor Von Doom
6. Doug Jones … The Silver Surfer
7. Laurence Fishburne … The Silver Surfer (voice)

This was pants. Complete pants. Not even bad enough to be enjoyed.
Harsh? Maybe, but true. I wasn’t overly fond of the first film but it did the job of light entertainment. This one though was boring. An unforgivable flaw in an action-hero flick. Everything was ultra predictable, and nothing sparkled. Not even McMahon as the ebil Von Doom. And I can’t be the only one who is totally Fishburne’s supposedly gravitas filled delivery of lines. Yes, it worked in the first of the Matrix films, but it seems as though ever since then he has been called upon whenever a “serious voice” is needed. Enough already. Especially when the Silver Surfer was probably the only thing about this film that I liked.

There isn’t really that much more to say about this. I wasn’t impressed. I was bored. I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone.

IMDb | Stainless Steel Droppings | Cinematical | The Movie Blog

Related posts

• Fantastic Four (1)
• Spiderman 3 (13)
• TMNT (2)
• Sin City (0)
• Iron Man (11)

Dir: Sam Raimi
Writ: Sam Raimi, Ivan Raimi, & Alvin Sargent. Based on the comic by Stan Lee & Steve Ditko

• Tobey Maguire … Spider-Man/Peter Parker
• Kirsten Dunst … Mary Jane Watson
• James Franco … New Goblin/Harry Osborn
• Thomas Haden Church … Sandman/Flint Marko
• Topher Grace … Venom/Eddie Brock
• Bryce Dallas Howard … Gwen Stacy
• James Cromwell … Captain Stacy
• Bruce Campbell … Maître d’

I wasn’t a huge fan of the first two spiderman films; I enjoyed them but didn’t LOVE them. They were good, solid entertainment. Two was probably a little better, though I may feel that way because I recently rewatched it when it was shown on the telly a few weeks ago. This one isn’t so good. It is too long. There are too many characters. And worst of all, unlike the second, it has no heart to it.

It felt stop-start, as though they had too many characters and story-lines and couldn’t figure out to make then all work together properly, nothing seemed to fit.

I’ve never been a huge fan of Spiderman, or of Peter Parker for that matter, and in this film I just couldn’t care less what happened him. James Franco was more interesting as Harry. There was nothing to grip the viewer, and while the special effects were excellent you really need a good story to hang them on. This was all pretty curtains and no foundation.

And the cocky version of Peter Parker? That was just weird and stupid. Yes at first it was a little entertaining to see him strut, but after 2 seconds it became creepyfing, and disturbing. And the dancing! wtf!

There is nothing hideous and terrible about the film. You’ll watch, you’ll be entertained and maybe a little bored, I do recall checking my watch and thinking with a sinking heart that there was still an hour to go, but it picked up a little, so I wasn’t eyeing the exit all the way through. Totally worthy of a meh. Too many storyiideas with not enough development

I also took issue with the amount of time Parker wandered about in his Spidey outfit, only with the mask off. Either he has a secret identity or he doesn’t. Half the city should know who he really is if he has as little care as that.

IMDb | I.P. | SSD | Billie Doux | Joe Blade| Thu Tu’s blog

Related posts

• Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (9)
• Iron Man (11)
• Sin City (0)
• Marie Antoinette (0)
• Little, Big (4)

Dir: Marcus Nispel
Writ: Laeta Kalogridis based on Veiviseren by Nils Gaup

• Karl Urban … Ghost
• Russell Means … Pathfinder
• Moon Bloodgood … Starfire
• Jay Tavare … Blackwing
• Clancy Brown … Gunnar

Five hundred years before Columbus another European people journeyed to the Americas. These raiders left behind a young boy, who was taken in by The People of the Dawn, and when, many years later, the Vikings return, he is the one to fight back and save his adopted people.

Okay, so you know the way you see a really really bad trailer and think to yourself, well it might be fun in a no brain, mindless entertainment way. Well this didn’t even live up to my low expectations. There is nothing to redeem it. Nothing at all. Well unless you want to spend 99 minutes watching Karl Urban fight. Which may have some attraction I’ll admit. But a bit of sense would be nice. This child was left behind and yet despite how ever many years passed he is still a great fighter. This maybe they can get away with because he kept his sword and we see him practising it. But the horse-riding ability? Yeah, okay! I know, I know, I really shouldn’t be looking for any sort of sense, but come on writer, you need some sort of thread that’ll tie things together. And since I’m being all negative, can I also complain that the fighting scenes were actually crap. I mean they looked cool and atmospheric, but I couldn’t tell what was going on in them at all.

And I really don’t want to get into the historical bit of it, but why on earth were the Native Americans portrayed as totally peaceful? I don’t know a lot about pre-european invasion America, but I’m pretty sure they would’ve raided each other’s tribes. I really did think that this sort of “noble savage” shite had died out. Guess I was wrong. And while I’m well aware that films need good guys and bad guys, and in the case of this sort of action film, very simple definitions of good and bad, can I just say wtf was up with that version of the Vikings? Did someone really want to make an “orcs v the Indians” film but couldn’t sell it?

In conclusion, urgh

IMDb | Official Site | Fasthack | FlickFilosopher | MetaCritic | Slice of SciFi

Related posts

• Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest (25)
• The Transporter, 1 and 2 (0)
• Smokin’ Aces (0)
• King Kong (5)
• Fearless (0)

Dir and Writ: Sofia Coppola

• Kirsten Dunst - Marie-Antoinette
• Marianne Faithfull - Maria Teresa
• Steve Coogan - Ambassador Mercy
• Jason Schwartzman - Louis XVI
• Rip Torn - Louis XV
• Asia Argento - Madame du Barry
• Shirley Henderson - Aunt Sophie

Continue Reading »

Related posts

• Spiderman 3 (13)
• Memoirs of a Geisha (5)
• The Great Nation: France from Louis XV to Napoleon (0)
• Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest (25)
• Pathfinder (0)

Dir: Gore Verbinski
Writ: Ted Elliot, Terry Rossio, Stuart Beatti & Jay Wolpert

• Johnny Depp - Jack Sparrow
• Orlando Bloom - Will Turner
• Keira Knightley - Elizabeth Swann
• Jack Davenport - Norrington
• Bill Nighy - Davy Jones

Took me long enough, but I finally managed to catch POTC2, and despite loving the first one I have to say that this just isn’t that great. Yes it has wonderful bits of Jack Sparrow-ness, but overall it is too long and too silly to really entertain.

Of course it does suffer because the story doesn’t end with this film, you’ve got to wait til film three before we have a resolution, but that isn’t the main problem. No, the problem is that there isn’t enough story to fill the 150 minutes of screen time. It is as though they wanted to put in all these “cool pirate bits” and then had to invent reasons to have them. They don’t serve the plot and so aren’t needed, and only make the film drag.

Still, there is plenty to entertain. Obviously Jack Sparrow is as entertaining as ever. And then there is Bill Nighy’s Davy Jones and his ickness. Keira Knightly I could do without however.

All in all, good in places but too long. Although the conversation over the pronunciation of Kraken was simply superb.

IMDb | Official Site | SSD | Samizdisandat | PixelSurgeon

Related posts

• Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End (13)
• Pathfinder (0)
• Apocalypto (0)
• Alexander (0)
• War (0)