Dir: Xavier Gens
Writ: Skip Woods, based on game

• Timothy Olyphant … Agent 47
• Dougray Scott … Mike Whittier
• Olga Kurylenko … Nika Boronina
• Robert Knepper … Yuri Marklov
• Ulrich Thomsen … Mikhail Belicoff
• Henry Ian Cusick … Udre Belicoff

To be honest I never thought I’d be bothered to see this film. The trailers made it look ridiculous, and not in a good way, but we were going, and it was at the right time, so we figured what the hell. And I’m glad we did go, because while is makes no sense and is incredibly silly it was also fairly entertaining and funny.

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The Transporter
Dir: Louis Leterrier & Corey Yuen
Writ: Luc Besson & Robert Mark Kamen
Starring:

• Jason Statham … Frank Martin
• Qi Shu … Lai
• Matt Schulze … Wall Street
• François Berléand … Tarconi
• Ric Young … Mr. Kwai

Transporter 2
Dir: Louis Leterrier
Writ: Luc Besson & Robert Mark Kamen
Starring:

• Jason Statham … Frank Martin
• Alessandro Gassman … Gianni
• Amber Valletta … Audrey Billings
• Kate Nauta … Lola
• François Berléand … Tarconi

First Bourne, now Frank, I must seriously be in the mood for action flicks, don’t you think? Of course The Transporter is a lot sillier than the Bourne films. But just as fun.

The first starts off with Frank, the Transporter of the title, driving the getaway car for a bank robbery. A scenario used to show us all just how cool, calm, and collected he is. Oh yeah, and what a great driver he is. And also to introduce us to “the rules” by which he transports.

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Or, Live Free or Die Hard as it is in the states
Dir: Len Wiseman
Writ: Mark Bomback, David Marconi; some characters: Roderick Thorp; A Farewell to Arms by John Carlin

• Bruce Willis … John McClane
• Timothy Olyphant … Thomas Gabriel
• Justin Long … Matt Farrell
• Maggie Q … Mai Lihn
• Cliff Curtis … Bowman
• Kevin Smith … Warlock
• Mary Elizabeth Winstead … Lucy McClane

What better way to mark America’s Independence Day than with a trip to see this film? The makers of Die Hard 4.0 obviously agreed with me, why else would they have had it open on Wednesday otherwise? And it was the perfect popcorn action flick. Not a lot of plot, or character, but plenty of explosions and much violence. Remember violence from 80’s films? It was all about the death count, the casual shootings, and the big explosions, not like the torture and slow deaths you are more likely to see today.

The plot isn’t that important. Suffice to say that there are bad guys. They do bad things. John McClane stops them. End of, baby, end of.

Course the fact that Willis is now in his fifties might make you wonder does he make a believable action hero. And I’d have to say yes. Totally believable. Afterall, if Rocky could do it, then so can McClane. And yes, it is silly, at one stage McClane “kills a helicopter” with his car. But it is also totally enjoyable and entertaining. And the action scenes are damn cool.

I guess you could say that I enjoyed this film. Just don’t think too hard about it, or wonder at the fact that the bad-guy is a carefully chosen american, and that there is mix of ethnicities to the cast. Guess they didn’t want to bring too much politics into this film, and that is as it should be.

Course, maybe I enjoyed it so much cause I’ve always been a Bruce Willis fan, right from those Moonlighting days. As for recommending people to go see it, well it is a total no brainer. Do you like action films? If so go. If you are in the mood for something with plot and storylines and want to think then I’d give it a miss. But if you are a fan you’ll love it, just try and catch it on the big screen cause I’m guessing it won’t be as much fun at home.

IMDb | Stainless Steel Droppings | Full2 Fallto | LifeParticles | hint of sarcasm

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Dir: Stephen Bradley
Writ: Derek Landy

• Samantha Mumba … Jessica
• David Leon … Nathan
• Tadhg Murphy … Diggs
• Laurence Kinlan … Henry
• Sara James … Cheryl
• Deirdre O’Kane … Grace
• Doreen Keogh … Mrs. Brumble
• Bryan Murray … Mr. Frears

You know the old story; Boy meets girl. Boy falls in love with girl. Something gets in the way of true love, but they over come it to live happily ever after? Well, I suppose this fills all those clichés only as well as the teen angst we get zombies and gore. Nathan is good friends with Jessica but he wishes that they could be more then friends. He doesn’t ask her out because he is worried that she’ll say no and then their friendship will get all weird. His friends Henry and Diggs persuade him to act. If by persuade you mean they send a text from Nathan’s mobile and arrange a meeting with Jessica. But Jessica’s father tells her she isn’t allowed to leave the house, so poor Nathan is left waiting. Eventually he leaves, just in time to see Jessica, who had escaped her father’s watchful eye, in the local “stud’s” car. So obviously he thinks the worst and heads home to drown his sorrow in whiskey. And ends up dead.

His mother however has different ideas. Earlier she stumbled upon a hidden crypt in the local church and a book of resurrection. So like any good Mammy she brings her son back from the dead. Only there is a slight problem. His sudden hunger for human flesh.

There is nothing all that bad about this film, but there isn’t much that is great either. The zombie storyline takes too long to get started, although when it does there is plenty of gore and blood flying about to help pass the time. It also isn’t specifically an Irish film, in fact it is quite Americanised, although who knows, maybe secondary school students do all drive to school now. It is a fun no-brain way to pass the time. Nothing more, or less.

Actually the most note-worthy thing about this film is the fact that it was temporarily banned here in Ireland. Bloody censorship is just crap, especially considering that this is now rated 15. Oh, and that the snake in it is called Buffy. And he^[1] gets his own picture in the end credits.

IMDb | Official site

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Dir & Writ: Kevin Munroe
Comic characters created by Peter Laird & Kevin Eastman

• Mitchell Whitfield - Donatello (voice)
• James Arnold Taylor - Leonardo (voice)
• Mikey Kelley - Michelangelo (voice)
• Nolan North - Raphael
• Chris Evans - Casey Jones (voice)
• Sarah Michelle Gellar - April O’Neil (voice)
• Mako - Master Splinter (voice)
• Patrick Stewart - Max Winters (voice)
• Laurence Fishburne - Narrator (voice)
• Ziyi Zhang - Karai (voice)

Come on now, who doesn’t love the “heroes in a half-shell”? The main reason I went to see this was that is was on at the right time, and of course the nostalgia reason. Plus I haven’t been to see an animated film in a while. And this looks fantastic. Visually it is really great.

The plot, characters, and dialogue are less impressive, but still make for a fun trip to the cinema. We don’t get any origin story, just a voice over to bring us up to date on what is going on with the turtles. Leonardo is off in the jungles of South America, supposedly learning to be a leader, or at least that was the reason Splinter sent him off. Luckily enough April is poking around, looking for some statue, when she finds him and tells him that things aren’t going to well without him.

Don’t worry, he eventually makes a return to the sewers, and then discovers that the statue April brought back has come to life. Or back to life. See, 3,000 years ago there was this… ah, you don’t really want to know the plot do you? It’s the turtles, how involved could it possibly be?

Everything that fans remember is there; Splinter being all wise and kick-ass, Michelangelo stuffing his face with pizza, Donatello working with techy-type things and the constant conflict between Leo and Raphael^[1] So there is plenty to keep your attention, and it is exactly what it should be. A fun, entertaining film.

Official Site | IMDb | SciFiChick | | Cinematical | Film School Rejects

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Write & Dir: Mark Neveldine & Brian Taylor

• Jason Statham - Chev Chelios
• Amy Smart - Eve
• Efren Ramirez - Kaylo
• Jose Pablo CantilloVerona
• Francis Capra - Badguy on roof

If you are ever in the mood for some mindless entertainment, then I can wholeheartedly recommend Crank. You can switch your brain off quite easily and enjoy. Come to think about it, it is probably best to switch your brain off, because the plot makes little sense. Switch any morals or ethics off as well, because there is no need for them.

Statham seems to have developed into quite the mindless action hero, and he does a pretty good job, running through the streets, driving like a mad man, pulling any stunt in an attempt to keep his adrenaline pumping.

His character, Chev has been poisoned you see, by some weird Chinese synthetic substance. But he can stay alive for a little while because adrenalin prevents the poison from bonding with his blood and killing him. yeah, enough of the pseudo-science, because that is all so not the point. The point is action, action and more action.

And the film delivers. Action is what you get. Action in the form of violence and the odd bit of sex.

If you are looking for a good film, this probably isn’t your cup of tea, but if you just want to switch off and be entertained by something you know is pointless and ridiculous then this is one to watch.

IMDb | Official Site | Confessions of a Film Critic | FlickFilposopher | What’s NewS | Draven99’s Musing

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