Susan Hated Literature

I can’t remember the last time I did a meme, but I stumbled across this one over here and figured why not.

Go to urbandictionary.com and type in your answer to each question in the search box, then write the FIRST MOST AMUSING OR STRANGE definition it gives you
1. Online Name: Fence
   - Intense : Comes from shortening the phrase “Intense like an electric fence.”
2. Age: 29
   - Bi-sexual or likeing both sexes (sorry, had to meet the word min)
   on the numeric keyboard: 1-a 2-b 3-c 4-d 5-e 6-f 7-g 8-h 9-i so 29 becomes bi
3. One of your friends: Harlequin
   - The old medieval term used for English longbowmen meaning: The devils kin, or spawn of satan.
4. What should you be doing: Nothing
   - Nothing was once questioned by a great mind. Is it the “prescense of abscence or the abscense of prescense”? Furthermore, what is the sound of one hand clapping? What is out there in the universe, at what makes up those vast spaces of abscense? (or prescense of abscense)

   Nothing, put simply, is the deepest, shallowest, brightest, darkest, widest, thinnest, and incomprehensibly empty emptyness, so empty that it is only prevented from collapsing upon itself because there is no substance to collapsae in upon, or no substance to do the collapsing, or even any substance to think or daydream about collapsing upon abscense of prescense or prescense of abscense, which is still utterly and completely absent of form and shape and mass and prescense that is abscent from the existance of anything. In short, nothing is the total, absolute, final, and complete spot that is both positive and negative, young and old, and to sum it all up the opposite of everything in existance, for there is no existance in nothingness. It has even been thought that nothingness itself doesn’t even exist, and that the existance of nothingness is so impossibly ludicrous and isnane that if anyone were to actually realize or see nothingness, the entirety of the expanse of the Everything would simply vaporize, leaving even more nothingness in its place.

   Nothingness is nothing, to put it simply. (really, this time)
   Nothingness has only been explained correctly by Zen Buddhists:

5. Favourite colour: Red
   - Red is a nickname given to red-headed females by strangers walking by. Its supposed to be a term of endearment, but I don’t quite understand it. Having red hair, I have been called Red many times by strangers. If I were to say “Nada Brown (or Blonde, or Black, or Grey), whad up wit you?”, that would be insulting. So why is it ok to call me Red?
   “Yo Red, whad up?”
   “Hey Red, happy new year.”
   “Sup Red?”
6. Your birthplace: Dublin
   - Although the capital city of Ireland; most of it’s D4, Blackrock, Castleknock inhabitants and Trinity Alumini wish that it was part of Britain and like to think that they are superior to those that are from “the sticks” (i.e. anywhere that’s not D4 and Castleknock).
   Dublin is full of west Brit wankers.
7. Last person you talked to: Himself
   - an irish reference to the male head of the household. a notch below himself is “that other fellow.” even lower is “that thing over there.”
   so where the hell is himself tonight?
8. Last thing you had to drink: Tea
   - The Elixir of life. No greater destiny can be known by any leaf than this: that it should lay down its life as an infusion.
   The British nation consumes a larger volume of water each day in tea than in every other domestic soft drink put together, including drinking water straight.
   When they say we are a nation of tea drinkers, they’re not taking the pee. (Although thanks to the diuretic properties of tea, shortly afterwards, most of us are.)
   Brit 1: Fancy a cuppa?
   Brit 2: Erm, what time is it?
   Brit 1: 11:15.
   Brit 2: Give me five minutes, I’ve just got to pee out the 10:30.
   
   Brit 2: Bring it on. Milk, two sugars, and put it in a mug, not one of those girlie cups on saucers. Think Man Tea.
9. Your nickname: Dee
   - 1. To be awesome.
   2. To only be awesome.
   3. This application can’t understand that Dee only means one thing, hence it sucks at it’s understanding factor.
   Person 1: Hey do you know Dee?

   Person 2: Yeah, she’s so awesome! I wish I was awesome!

Tags: meme

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• Young ladies; married ladies; old maids; thoughtless young persons of both sexes; gamblers, profligates and libertines; servants who, whether by accident or design, have acquired an education beyond their station: these are the idle creatures who may be found at any hour of the night or day with a novel in their hands (6)
• you came and you gave without taking (20)
• What a wonderful way to wake me (2)
• This is space. It’s sometimes called the final frontier. (Except that of course you can’t have a *final* frontier, because there’d be nothing for it to be a frontier *to*, but as frontiers go, it’s pretty penultimate…) (3)
• The eye of an ostrich is bigger than fencesitter (9)

Yesterday a quiz, today a meme, it’s almost like going back in time.

Stolen from xaosseed:
1. Go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
The first article title on the page is the name of your band.

2. Go to http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3
The last four words of the very last quote is the title of your album.

3. Go to http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days
The third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

4. Create your album cover and post it.

Tags: album, meme

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• Young ladies; married ladies; old maids; thoughtless young persons of both sexes; gamblers, profligates and libertines; servants who, whether by accident or design, have acquired an education beyond their station: these are the idle creatures who may be found at any hour of the night or day with a novel in their hands (6)
• you came and you gave without taking (20)
• What a wonderful way to wake me (2)
• This is space. It’s sometimes called the final frontier. (Except that of course you can’t have a *final* frontier, because there’d be nothing for it to be a frontier *to*, but as frontiers go, it’s pretty penultimate…) (3)
• The eye of an ostrich is bigger than fencesitter (9)

Don’t you just love Bank Holiday weekends? Or whatever your particular version of them are. I know I do. And even more when it means that I only have a three day working week as I’m off on Friday too. Yay for half-arsed working weeks.

Most of yesterday was a lovely day, weatherwise. Sunshine, warmth, a nice August day. But as I walked past the cinema on my way home from town, I felt a few drops of rain, and, just after I got home, I heard the first roll of thunder and next thing you know it was lashing. cats and dogs weren’t even in it. Good timing on my part.

Anyway, enough about the weather, I’ve been tagged for the first time in ages, Alan wants me to reveal the Soundtrack to my life. Hmmmm.

1. In 1983/84 I was4/5, so I may not have seen the video to Michael Jackson’sThriller but I do remember the next-door neighbour hiding behind the couch.
2. B #1, being older, was more into music at the time, so we’d listen to his tape collection. Hits 5 was a favourite. You Can Call Me Al, Don’t Get Me Wrong, Thorn In My Side, and True Colours are the ones that stand out in my memory.
3. Alan mentioned Lady in Red over on his site, but I have to list it too, that was the song of the year. My cousin, and many many others, dressed up as the Lady for a fancy dress competition.
4. I’ve mentioned him before, that’s right, ladies and gentlemen^[1] it is Johnny Logan and Hold Me Now from 1987. I was 8. It was great.
5. Madonna’s Like A Prayer was also huge, mainly because it got banned. How cool was that?
6. In 1988 the song everyone was listening to was Kylie Minogue’s I Should Be So Lucky. And of course who could possibly forget her The Loco-Motion and the duet with Jason Donovan Especially for You No more dreaming about tomorrow, forget the loneliness and the sorrow classic.
7. Black Box’s Ride on Time, that song was at number one forever. Or so it seemed at the time.
8. In the early 90’s it was all about the New Kids on the Block. I think that their Hangin’ Tough was probably the first album I ever bought.
9. The year I went to the Gaeltacht Shaggy’s Oh Carolina was huge. Oh, and No Limit by Two Unlimited.<
10. In secondary school the big debate was, as Father Damo^[2] once asked “Blur or Oasis”. Personally I wasn’t big into either. But I thought Oasis had better music, but Blur had better personalities. Let’s go with Wonderwall, just because.
11. While I was at college in Galway I started listening to Ben Christophers. Bit fan of My Beautiful Demon. That was also when I first started listening to Dead Can Dance.
12. Listening to Snow Patrol or Keane will bring back memories of exams. Library exams. How boring, but that is what I listened to when I should have been studying.
13. At the moment I’m mostly listening to Bill Callahan, otherwise known as Smog. But I’ve also been listening to Declan O’Rourke, Martha Wainwright, Thea Gilmore, and the soundtracks to various films.

Almost forgot, I’m supposed to tag people, well I wouldn’t want anyone to feel left out, so you’re ALL it.

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Title is from Dolly Parton’s 9 to 5, because I amn’t Tags: 2 Unlimited, B#1, Bank Holiday, Beautiful Demon, Ben Christophers, Bill Callahan, Black Box, Declan O'Rourke, Don’t Get Me Wrong, Fr. Damo, Hangin' Tough, Hold Me Now, I should be so lucky, Johnny Logan, Keane, Kylie Minogue, Lady in Red, Like a prayer, Madonna, Martha Wainwright, meme, Michael Jackson, New Kids on the Block, No Limit, Oasis, off work, Oh Carolina, Ride on Time, Shaggy, Smog, Snow Patrol, Soundtrack to my Life, Thorn In My Side, thriller, True Colours, Wonderwall, You Can Call Me Al

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• you came and you gave without taking (20)
• Who puts the rainbow in the sky (2)
• What a wonderful way to wake me (2)
• Week 247 (5)

* to be sung to the tune of Two and a half men’s theme tune.

Via Carl’s blog

1. Science Fiction, Fantasy or Horror?

All of the above, although more fantasy than any of the others. But really I like books that have a bit of everything thrown in.

2. Hardback or Trade Paperback or Mass Market Paperback?

Mass market. Easier to carry round, easier to read, I can fit more on the shelves Then hardback; trade are just awkward.

3. Heinlein or Asimov?

I’ve never read any Heinlein, and not much Asimov, so I’ll have to go with neither, or both.

4. Amazon or Brick and Mortar?

If I’m buying books online I tend to go for play.com on account of the free shipping, but I prefer to use a shop, mainly because most of my purchases are impulse buys and you just don’t get the same feel for a book online as you do when you can pick it up and flick through it.

5. Barnes & Noble or Borders?

Neither. I use either Easons or Hodges Figgis, sometimes Waterstones, and for secondhand shopping Chapters^[1] Which reminds me, I haven’t been in their new shop yet, really must pay a visit.

6. Hitchhiker or Discworld?

Discworld. Wasn’t that impressed with the Hitchhiker books when I read them, but that was more than ten years ago, so I’ll have to give them another go at some point. I do love Pratchett’s Discworld books, the later ones especially.

7. Bookmark or Dogear?

Both. I bookmark other people’s books, or ones belonging to the library, but my own I dogear, or if it is new just crack the spine^[2] wherever I finish up.

8. Magazine: Asimov’s Science Fiction or Fantasy & Science Fiction?

Neither.

9. Alphabetize by author Alphabetize by title or random?

Fairly random. I just keep series together, everything else is shovelled onto the shelf whereever there is space. But when I get the space for my own private library then I’ll alphabetise by author.

10. Keep, Throw Away or Sell?

Keep. Forever, until finally, one day when sorting through piles of books they’ll topple over and trap me for so long that people will believe me dead, killed by a little yellow boy with spikey hair, until eventually I free myself using Macgyver-style techniques and turn up in court, just in time to prove that crime doesn’t pay.

11. Year’s Best Science Fiction series (edited by Gardner Dozois) or Years Best SF series (edited by David G. Hartwell)?

Whichever. I only tend to pick up anthologies based on how cheap they are in Chapters

12. Keep dustjacket or toss it?

Keep it.

13. Read with dustjacket or remove it?

Again it depends. If the dustjacket is covered and non-slip then I’ll leave it on, though usually I’ll take it off while reading. They are just too awkward otherwise.

14. Short story or novel?

Novel. I prefer indepth characters and that can be hard to do with a short story.

15. Harry Potter or Lemony Snicket?

I’ve never read any Lemony Snicket, so I’ll have to go with Potter, though I did enjoy the Snicket film.

16. Stop reading when tired or at chapter breaks?

Usually at chapter breaks, but it depends where I am when I’m reading, or how long I’ve been reading for. I sometimes read while watching telly, and in that case the three minute ad break usually isn’t long enough to finish a chapter.

17. “It was a dark and stormy night� or “Once upon a time�?

Once it was a dark and stormy time

18. Buy or Borrow?

Both. There are too many books out there to buy them all.

19. Buying choice: Book Reviews, Recommendation or Browse?

Recommendations and browsing usually. I count bloggers’ book reviews as recommendations.

20. Lewis or Tolkien?

No contest; Tolkien.

21. Hard SF or Space Opera?

Both have their good points. Once they are well written either’ll do, although since I sometimes end up skimming the science bits I’d better say Space Opera.

22. Collection (short stories by the same author) or Anthology (short stories by different authors)?

Certain authors’ collections, otherwise Anthologies.

23. Hugo or Nebula?

Makes no difference to me whether a book has won an award or not.

24. Golden Age SF or New Wave SF?

Either. Both. Whichever, it’s all good.

25. Tidy ending or Cliffhanger?

Once it is well written and in keeping with the whole story I don’t mind.

26. Morning reading, Afternoon reading or Nighttime reading?

yes.

27. Standalone or Series?

I don’t mind. Once the story is well told and the characters are real then I’m happy to spend as long as possible with them, though a certain RJ should be wary of writing entire books where nothing happens.

28. Urban fantasy or high fantasy?

Again, both have their appeal. Some urban fantasy is great, some high fantasy is far too-Tolkien-lite. But there are great books in both sub-genres.

29. New or used?

Either.

30. Favorite book of which nobody else has heard?

I have no idea. I mean surely no matter how unpopular the book the author will have heard of it

31. Top X favorite genre books read last year? (Where X is 5 or less)

Last year….

• Thud! by Terry Pratchett
• The Temeraire series by Naomi Novik
• Smoke and Mirrors by Neil Gaiman
• A Song for Arbonne by Guy Gavriel Kay
• Beyond Black by Hilary Mantel
32. Top X favorite genre books of all time? (Where X is 5 or less)

I can’t answer this. How’m I supposed to limit it to five!

33. X favorite genre series? (Where X is 5 or less)

Under protest I’ll answer this one:

• Lord of the Rings by JRR Tolkien^[3]
• The various Six Duchies & Liveship trilogies by Robin Hobb
• The Dark is Rising Sequence by Susan Cooper
• The New Crobuzon ‘verse of China Mieville
• The Wheel of Time by Robert Jordan
34. Top X favorite genre short stories? (Where X is 5 or less)

I haven’t read too many recently, but there were three that I really enjoyed in Neil Gaiman’s Smoke and Mirrors:

• The Price
• Chivalry
• Snow, Glass, Apples.
35. Current Top X favorite genre book cover artists? (Carl’s question)
• James Jean (Fables especially)
• John Howe
• Josh Kirby’s Discworld covers. I wasn’t a huge fan when I first saw^[4] them, but I’ve come to really appreciate them, and miss them now.

Tags: meme, sff

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• you came and you gave without taking (20)
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Dere I was, strolling home frum work, waaaandering up Talbot St., when wha did I spo, but the sexiest fucker in de w’rrld. A bloody ride so he was. Cause dere is nuttin more luvvly dan a fella, dressed in maoldy grey tracksuit bottoms scratchin’ at his balls as he walks t’wards ya, is there?

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Carl has a Hallowe’en Meme that I may as well join:

What is your favorite work of horror fiction?

You know, I’ve read quite a few horrors, but don’t know if I have any one that is head and shoulders above the rest. Frankenstein was interesting, but I don’t really think it is a total horror. I really enjoyed The Monk when I read it for a gothic novels course, but never actually finished it. At the moment The Turn of the Screw is one that pops into my head.

What is your favorite work of science fiction/fantasy?

This is a tough one. Mary Gentle’s Ash: A Secret History always features among my favourites, as does The Lord of the Rings, and China Mieville’s King Rat. And of course the Wheel of Time series, which although now dragging on and on, I still enjoy. So I suppose I don’t have one.

Who is your favorite monster?

Hmm, category of monster? Then it’d have to be werewolf. Individual monster character? then it’d have to be Dracula. One of the versions anyway

What horror movie gives you the most chills?

Carl mentioned The Others, and I’d have to agree that it is very atmospheric, which I prefer to slash and gore horror film. i also really like Brotherhood of the Wolf, but I wouldn’t say it gave me chills exactly.

Freddy versus Jason?

Freddy. Cause even Jason has to sleep doesn’t he. I was a bit young for the whole Freddy phenomenon, but Brother #1 used to scare us on train journeys by recapping the plots of the various films, and teaching us the song.

What is your favorite Halloween treat?

Coconuts. Not that I really like coconuts, but just that it was such fun to get out the hammer and crack them open

Ghosts or goblins?

Goblins. Proper ones. Cause ghosts are just dead people

What is your scariest encounter with the paranormal?

Personal encounter? Never had one.

Do you believe in ghosts?

Not really. But anythings possible.

Favorite Halloween costume?

I haven’t dressed up for Hallowe’en in years and years, so I don’t remember which my favourite was.

Tags: city life, Dublin, Halloween, meme

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I’m watching Leinster being beaten by Edinburgh^[1] Tis quite annoying, especially cause the commentators on Setanta Sports are Scots, and so obviously enough up for Edinburgh. Can’t blame them, and they aren’t unfair or anything, but they are slightly biased. Still, first match of the Magner’s league for Leinster, and none of the internationals are playing, and they will improve… Plus, Connacht beat the Ospreys, so that’s great news.

Anyways, over at Random Burblings, Alan has a meme to join in. Name your top 25 tv characters and explain why.

These are in no particular order, just the way they popped into my head.
1. Firefly’s Jayne, played by Adam Baldwin. Obvious, I know to any regular readers As for why, well he could so easily have been a clichéd muscle-no-brains character, but while Jayne was the muscle with the lack of brain he also had wonderful comedy moments. Violence and humour. Who could want for more.
   “Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don’t you think?”
2. Titus Pullo from Rome, played by Ray Stevenson. Hmm, a similar type of character to Jayne. Only instead of being a mercenary-type he’s a soldier. And a hero, sortof.
   “I’m going to drink all the wine, smoke all the smoke, and fuck every whore in the city!”
3. And also from Rome I can’t leave Lucius Vorenus played by Kevin McKidd. Vorenus is a great character, so devoted to the Legion and honour. But at the same time gradually becoming more and more disillusioned with life and the reality of Roman politics.
   “Fortune pisses on me once again!”
4. Darla, played by Julia Benz, in Buffy and Angel. Nothing but a bit character in Buffy, she returned in Angel to be so much more and so important. She was just cool.
   “Whatever pain he caused to your daughter was momentary, over in an instant or an hour.”
5. Life On Mars’ DI Gene Hunt, played by Philip Glenister. Just a great character. Blunt, insulting, violent, a crooked cop, a man with a thousand and one great lines.
   “DCI Gene Hunt: I’m not a Catholic me’self Mr Warren, but isn’t there something in the Bible about “Thou shalt not suck off rent boys”?
   Warren: How dare you come in here!
   DCI Gene Hunt: You could have said that to the boy.”
6. Stewie from Family Guy voiced by Seth MacFarlane. I really seem to have a load of foul mouthed character here don’t I?. But who doesn’t love a kid who want to kill his mother, who turned into a weird mutant squid thing and tried to take over the world?
   “Damn you, vile woman, you’ve impeded my work since the day I escaped your wretched womb”
7. Gary Cole as Sheriff Lucas Black in American Gothic. He’s just plain evil. Evil I tells you.
   “All guilt is relative. Loyalty counts. And never let your conscience be your guide”
8. Sean Bean as Sharpe in the various Sharpe tv specials. Okay, mainly for the Sean Beanliness, but also because Sharpe is a great fun adventure/action character. Yes, the actual plots are a little repetitive, but Sharpe is always entertaining.
   “And what the hell do I care what you and the lads want, eh? You think the British Army’s a bloody dem… dem…
   Harris: Democracy, sir. Comes from the Greek word “demos” and means “rule by-”
   Sharpe: Shut up, Harris!
9. Will Scarlet, in Robin of Sherwood, played by Ray Winstone. First off because the TV show itself is great. Secondly because Winstone is a fantastic actor and third, because Scarlet is a wonderful character here. Not the brightly-dressed dandy of other versions but a violent little thug^[2] With a heart, otherwise he wouldn’t be one of the good guys, would he?
10. Another Firefly character, Alan Tudyk’s Wash. And look, he breaks the pattern. Cause he is as far from a bad-boy as it is possible to get.
    “Sweetie, we’re crooks. If everything were right, we’d be in jail.”
11. Oz, played by Seth Green in Buffy. Another non-bad boy. Oz was the coolest of the cool. And none of that fake acting cool crap, he simply was cool. And so monosyllabic, but still so verbal. If that makes sense?
    “[thinking]I am my thoughts. If they exist in her, Buffy contains everything that is me and she becomes me. I cease to exist. Huh”
12. Wesley, played by Alexis Denisof in Angel. He just had such a great arc. From being the annoying lite-Giles, to becoming one of the heros on Angel. And then all that wrestling with good and bad. And his love for Fred.
    “Y’know, back in my days as a rogue demon hunter, I once used that very spear to pin down what I thought was a small Rodentius demon. Of course, the poodle’s owners weren’t very happy.”
13. Back to the bad boys with Veronica Mars‘ Logan Echolls, played by Jason Dohring. Just cause he is such an interesting, twisted, fucked up character.
    “If I donate to the United Latino Pain-in-the-Ass fund, will you shut the hell up?”

And I’m running out of characters. either that or I want to name the entire cast from certain shows which is a little unfair. So I’m going to post this list as is, incomplete, and if more pop into my head I’ll add them.

Tags: CL06, Connacht, Connacht V Ospreys, Edinburgh, fictional characters I love, Leinster, Leinster V Edinburgh, meme, Ospreys, rugby

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Sometimes you find the bestest^[1] things on the interweb.

You know when you correct^[2] your younger siblings’ pronunciation or spelling or accent^[3] And they moan about how “sure you knew what I totally meant like dude”^[4] Well now you can feel totally justified, and you can go further and correct their punctuation. After all, one day it might save them thousands of euros/dollars/pounds/rands^[5] Don’t belive me? Well, I was reading Neil Gaiman’s blog when^[6] I spotted the story. Seems some Canadian company(Rogers) drew up a contract with another company(Aliant). A multi-millian dollar contract. Only they added an extra comma which meant that a crucial line didn’t mean what they thought it would mean:

[the agreement] shall continue in force for a period of five years from the date it is made, and thereafter for successive five year terms, unless and until terminated by one year prior notice in writing by either party.

Rogers thought that meant that the agreement would last five years, and only after that could it be terminated by the one year notice. But that isn’t what the sentence means. If I remember my rules of punctuation, two commas like that create a subordinate clause, which can be removed to read the main point of the sentence. So it’d read:
“[the agreement] shall continue in force for a period of five years from the date it is made unless and until terminated by one year prior notice in writing by either party.” or basically that only one years notice is required to terminate the agreement, at any time.

Doesn’t that just make you smile, and wonder will all contracts now have to suffer the scrutiny of the punctuation police as well as the legal teams?

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I’ve been memed, again. This time by Nome, and it is a music meme. Post your top ten^[7] artists, the first song you heard by them, the one that made you fall in love with them, and your current favorite.

1. Ben Christophers^[8] - Beautiful Demon which I got free with an issue of Uncut magazine. Back when I used to buy it. And I think that is still my favourite of his songs.
2. Declan O’Rourke - Sara (last night in a dream) which NM sent me. My fav by him now is probably Marrying the Sea
3. Dead Can Dance - I can’t remember what the first song I loved by them was. And I don’t know if I have a favourite either.
4. Sinead O’Connor - I don’t really like her personality, or at least the way she comes across in the media. But she has a fantastic voice. The first song by her that I can remember hearing and loving was, of course, Nothing Compare 2 You. That is still a great song, wonderful video too. But my favourite at the moment is her version of Oro Se Do Bheatha Bhaile
5. Martha Wainwright - Again, I’m not sure what my first fav was. And there are quite a few of hers that I love; Bring Back My Heart with Rufus Wainwright, Dis, quand reviendras-tu?, Wither Must I Wander, These Flowers and I’ll stop now otherwise I’ll end up listing all the tracks.

Tags: commas are important, grammar, language, meme

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