Susan Hated Literature

Dir: Gore Verbinksi
Writ: Ted Elliott & Terry Rossio

• Johnny Depp … Jack Sparrow
• Geoffrey Rush … Barbossa
• Orlando Bloom … Will Turner
• Keira Knightley … Elizabeth Swann
• Jack Davenport … Norrington
• Bill Nighy … Davy Jones
• Mackenzie Crook … Ragetti
• Stellan SkarsgÃ¥rd … ‘Bootstrap’ Bill Turner
• Naomie Harris … Tia Dalma
• Chow Yun-Fat … Captain Sao Feng
• Keith Richards … Captain Teague

Surprisingly I liked this. I loved the first, but was bored during the second, so I wasn’t expecting great things from the third in the series. Maybe this was the reason I liked it, low expectations and all, but whatever the cause I’m glad.

It isn’t as good as the first; I don’t think I’d be bothered to rewatch it. Maybe if it showed up on telly, or I wanted to waste three hours, but I wouldn’t be pushed either way. Still it more than did its job of entertaining me throughout the film. And earned a few laughs as well. So thumbs up I think.

And then there is the whole look and feel of the film. It is fab. Honestly. I loved Davy Jones’ locker, and the hallucinations of Jack Sparrows. Fantastic. Surreal and trippy, but wonderful.

That being said, there were bits I didn’t like, but then again what film is perfect. Especially if it has Keira Knightly in it? I’m not a fan, but she did okay, nothing to complain about^[1] I feel kinda the same about Orlando Bloom, I’m not a huge fan, but he did the job, although he really wasn’t in it all that much, despite being a principle character.

Yes, there is too much going on, and plots that go nowhere, and senselessness, but it doesn’t really matter. Jack is cool. Pirates are piratey. So it is all good.

Yo, ho, haul together,
hoist the Colors high…
Heave ho, thieves and beggars,
never say we die.

And while I’m here; the opening was a bit dark wasn’t it? I mean, the hangings of huge numbers of people, including children, but cunningly filmed so it only got a 12s rating.

IMDb | Stainless Steel Droppings | BlogCritics | Done Waiting |

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Dir: Gore Verbinski
Writ: Ted Elliot, Terry Rossio, Stuart Beatti & Jay Wolpert

• Johnny Depp - Jack Sparrow
• Orlando Bloom - Will Turner
• Keira Knightley - Elizabeth Swann
• Jack Davenport - Norrington
• Bill Nighy - Davy Jones

Took me long enough, but I finally managed to catch POTC2, and despite loving the first one I have to say that this just isn’t that great. Yes it has wonderful bits of Jack Sparrow-ness, but overall it is too long and too silly to really entertain.

Of course it does suffer because the story doesn’t end with this film, you’ve got to wait til film three before we have a resolution, but that isn’t the main problem. No, the problem is that there isn’t enough story to fill the 150 minutes of screen time. It is as though they wanted to put in all these “cool pirate bits” and then had to invent reasons to have them. They don’t serve the plot and so aren’t needed, and only make the film drag.

Still, there is plenty to entertain. Obviously Jack Sparrow is as entertaining as ever. And then there is Bill Nighy’s Davy Jones and his ickness. Keira Knightly I could do without however.

All in all, good in places but too long. Although the conversation over the pronunciation of Kraken was simply superb.

IMDb | Official Site | SSD | Samizdisandat | PixelSurgeon

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• Johnny Depp - Victor Van Dort (voice)
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Poor old Victor just can’t get his through his wedding rehearsal, can’t remember his lines, bumps into things, sets the bride’s mother on fire. It is all enough to send anyone running for the woods. But Victor has fallen in love with his arranged bride-to-be and sets about practising those vows. Only problem is that, in doing so, he manages to marry a dead woman; the Corpse Bride. And she has waited long enough for a husband, and so does not intend to let this one get away.

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• Johnny Depp …. Willy Wonka
• Freddie Highmore …. Charlie Bucket
• David Kelly …. Grandpa Joe
• Helena Bonham Carter …. Mrs. Bucket
• Noah Taylor …. Mr. Bucket
• Missi Pyle …. Mrs. Beauregarde
• James Fox …. Mr. Salt
• Deep Roy …. Oompa Loompa

With this film you constantly hear people comparing it to the previous film version starring Gene Wilder. Well not here, because although I think I’ve seen it at some stage, I don’t really remember it all that well. So obviously it didn’t make a great impression on me.

For the few who don’t know this is based on the book of the same title by Roald Dahl. The plot is centered on the chocolate factory of the title, its owner (Willy Wonka) and Charlie Bucket. Charlie, played by Freddie Highmore from Finding Neverland, comes from a family so poor that all they seem to eat is cabbage soup. His four grandparents share the one bed, and never leave it. Every year for his birthday Charlie gets a bar of chocolate, the only one he’ll have all year. He always gets a bar of Wonka’s chocolate and loves the stories his grandpa Joe tells about the factory, and its mysterious owner Willy Wonka.

When a competition to allow five children to enter the factory is announced the chances are slim that Charlie will get a golden ticket…

Now my memory might be faulty here, but wasn’t Charlie supposed to be English? So why did he find a dollar bill? Why does he use the term candy?
But those are just minor quibbles. All in all I really enjoyed this film. Depp’s Wonka is wonderfully weird and, well, just plain wacky. His disdain for the children is perfect for the film, as are the Oompa Loompa’s crazy routines. Certain reviews have compared Depp’s Wonka to Michael Jackson, but I have to say I don’t see the similarities. Yes both are unnaturally white, but Wonka is not interested in the children at all, he doesn’t care about them, all he cares about is chocolate and sweets and inventing.

From the outset it is obvious that this is a Burton film, there are all those weird but great visuals, not to mention Depp’s take on Willy Wonka. Although I did think that the music wasn’t especially Burtonesque, and in most places didn’t really stand out. Having said that I did enjoy the Oompa Loompa’s songs.

The children are all well-cast, Highmore especially is perfect as the scrawny underfed Charlie. But my favourite was the spoiled-rotten “Veruca Salt, the little brute, Has just gone down the garbage chute”.

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* Vincent Price - The Inventor

This really is a great film. I bought it on DVD quite a while ago, but it has taken me some time to actually watch it. And I still have the commentaries to look forward to. Unfortunately they seem to have been done by only one person, one by Tim Burton, the other by Danny Elfman. I think that commentaries are always best when there are at least two people playing off one another.

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