Susan Hated Literature

Luna Nina says:

1. Taxes ::
2. Hooray ::
3. Justification ::
4. Shocking ::
5. Bureaucracy ::
6. Porn ::
7. Silly ::
8. DJ ::
9. Swing ::
10. Anti- ::

Mine will be under the cut. but first…

Was home at the weekend, and my tickets have arrived, which is all to the good. This despite the fact that on the website where you go to check the status of your tickets it says they are in the process of being printed.

The weekend was not a good one on the pet front, as the puppy-dog bashed his tail against something on Friday and his usual every-day-mood is one of “oooh, look stuff. Great.” while wagging his tail. By Friday evening he’d learned that wasn’t such a good idea as it hurt. And because he is a big baby all you’d hear was this clatter of nails on the wooden floor as he got up, all happy to see someone, and then a sudden whine.
Still, by Sat he seemed to have learned and there was no more whining. Although that may just have been because his tail wasn’t quite so damaged anymore.

The other major incidence was the loss of one of the fish. Yes, one of the sister’s poor goldfish died on Sat. We’re blaming the other one for its murder, but as of yet Sharkey and George are otherwise engaged and can’t come to bust this crime of the fish-tank.

Brother #4 took possession of the expired fish as he was going to bring it down the pub and drop in someone’s pint. A decision which then prompted much discussion between himself and Brother #3 over whether it would be better to put it in a pint of cider, or light coloured beer and so have the drinker spot it. Or would it be better to place the fish that was no more into the end of a pint of Guinness in the hopes that someone might actually take a swig of dead-fish-pint.

But all this discussion came to naught as in the end he stayed in on sat., so the fish ended up taking the more traditional journey to the next world, yup, down the loo.

However, the family have managed to steal two cats. Well, one is a stray and while it turns up almost every day for feeding, it won’t let you get too close. While the other loves being petted, but we still think it started out life as a stray. Just a friendlier type. But the neighbours are also trying to steal it by the cunning and tricksy use of … food!

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Not too long ago, a certain someone left a comment asking about why my various brothers should never, ever be left with anything vaguely resembling explosives.

My quick answer would be, have you met my brothers, but then just as quickly you all would say No. No we haven’t^[1]

I’m not sure how the conversation began, I was in the pub teaching de gasur^[2] all about the flashy lights of pub quiz games. But when I came out B#2 was reminiscing about the time he gotten a tube of some pipe or other, and filled it with the heads of thousands of matches, as well as some other form of explosive. To which [tag]B#1[/tag] commented, “That’s a pipe-bomb.” B#2 nodded, as though it is the most natural thing in the world.

And of course once the stories of explosives began they had to continue. B#1 has gotten some sort of souvenir from an uncle. He had served in the Lebannon^[3] and had brought back some presents. As you do, you know the sort of thing I’m talking about. Amour-piercing shells^[4] and the like. It’s still around, although at one stage B#1 was going to take it apart. For once sense seems to have intervened and he didn’t.

Then there were the stories about the potassium. And how easy it was to remove from chemistry class, and how he wondered exactly what’d happen if he threw it in a puddle. And how a first year came out just as the water began to fizz, and jumped over the puddle just in time. Not to mention the neat trick of getting repeating banger type things^[5] and sticking them in someone’s schoolbag to watch them hop about as they tried to escape.

And those bangers prompted B#4 to recall the time he and the cronies had rolled up 100^[6] of these repeaters and stuck ‘em in a tube to see what would happen^[7]

Remember Homer Simpson and the hose incident “Hmm, it doesn’t seem to be working. I’ll just raise the pipe to my eye -” Yup. That is exactly what the ever so smart B#4 did. Luckily enough it was after he had taken a glance and then left the pipe down again that the last of the bangers exploded.

Such a surprise, as he was never a pyro as a kid, and never ever used to light almost every match in the box just because. Or have fun putting his finger through the flame, or messing with aerosols and flame^[8] And then of course he had the story of how, when setting off some fireworks, decided to light one in his hand. All was going well. Fuse lit, he was looking away so it wouldn’t blind him, and he let go. Only then he heard something funny. The firework had gotten caught in his sleeve and was still hanging there, by his hand.

How on earth he still has his hand I don’t quite know.

So B#1 comes back with his story is sitting in the back of class one day, scraping the gunpowder out of a shell^[9] So, the busy little bee is using a metal something-or-other^[10] to scrape out the [tag]gunpowder[/tag]. Has almost all of it out when oops, scraped a litte too hard and bang! Cloud of smoke over his head.

B#5 had no stories to share. A point that B#4 was keen to point out. Saying that the younger generation of locals^[11] are too into their sport to drink and mess about.

My brothers, suspended? Never. All as good as gold they were.

You know what the worst thing about having four days off in a row is? Yup, that’s right, it is the coming back to work. Having that Sunday evening feeling on a Tues. But, on the other hand, I do only have three days of this working week left, so that’s nice.

While I was home I went off to watch brothers #4 & #5 play hurling. Well, #5 wasn’t supposed to play as he’d already played a senior football^[1] that morning, and would be playing another the next day, and the hurling was a league match and not all that important. But he ended up playing half the match.

But Sligo isn’t exactly known for its hurling ability^[2] And the local area isn’t among the top flight even in Sligo, but the team they were playing is. When we arived at the pitch, after around 30 minutes drive, there were the two teams. The ref. Brother #5 had been asked to be linesman, as he wasn’t supposed to play. And a crowd of, oh, 4. All mothers. All from our side, despite it being an away match.

A loss was expected. And a loss what what we got. 5-20 to 3-12. Maybe. I’m making this score up because by the end no one knew what it was. Even before half-time we had to shout and ask the ref what the score was.

Still, all of our team had to wear helmets, which means that they were all under 21, while the other team were tossing their helmets aside 5 minutes into the game cause of the heat. And I think they may even have won the second half. Which, of course means that they were really well beaten in the first half.

In other news, there is none.

EDITED cause I am a total div who put down that a goal is worth two points, when in fact it is three. Which i totally know. I mean, duh! Of course it’s worth three points. What else would it be worth?

Bank holiday tomorrow, but I’ll be working. Exam time means those students need the library open. They’d better come in. Was quite empty on Friday, maybe due to the good weather, but I was still surprised there weren’t more around studying.

Long term readers will know I’ve an interest in [tag]show-jumping[/tag], and this week saw the FEI World Cup^[1] competition. And Ireland’s [tag]Jessica Kuerten[/tag] ^[2] was tipped by many to win, but that was before she decided to leave her top horse at home due to the Quibell’s dislike of airplanes. The competition in Kuala Lumpar ended today with Jessica taking second place behind Germany’s [tag]Marcus Ehning[/tag].

Today also saw the National [tag]Hurling[/tag] League final between [tag]Limerick[/tag] and [tag]Kilkenny[/tag]. It’s only the league, so not really the big competition, but I tuned in anyways. Cheering for Limerick, of course, as thats where de mudder is from. But as all the teams presumably want to peak for the Championship is wasn’t the greatest of matches. Still, [tag]Henry Shefflin[/tag] more than deserved his Man of the Match award, and Kilkenny deserved their win^[3] Then again they didn’t really score much more than Limerick, it just so happened that they scored three goals^[4] whereas all Limerick’s were points. Its the first hurling match I’ve watched in a while, but that Lucozade ad with Ronan O’Gara is totally correct, them hurling boys have some skill.

In yet more sports news that Brother #4, may be heading for South Africa with his [tag]rugby[/tag] team. They’re picking names out of a hat for a summer tour, I think, so he’s pretty hopeful. And Brother #5 was playing in the [tag]Connacht[/tag] U18 final today. Don’t know how they did yet, but the opponents Ballinasloe were favourites. No results on the Connacht rugby site^[5] which really needs to be updated more.

I blame de mudder. Met her for lunch last week and she told me that pretty much the entire family had a cold last weekend. On Friday I had a bit of a sore throat which developed into a snuffly cold on Sat. and Sun. Thought it had cleared up this morning, but no. I’m still snuffling away. Hopefully annoying the students. Must remember to get some beechams at lunch time.

While I was home brother #4 played a rugby match and ended up pulling a muscle in his stomach, which was hi-larious as sick people when he tried to laugh or cough. Ever seen Muttley, well, heard him? De brudder sounded just like that. So of course we attempted to make him laugh as much as possible. I also learned that despite being around 20 years of age, brother #4 is still as immature as ever. As he spent at least 10 minutes in a Yes-No war with the sister. She is 9, so has an excuse.

I’ve made the short list for fictional piece, but that site says that everyone who voted should’ve gotten an email to verify their address. As far as I can see I never got one, does that mean my vote didn’t go through?

So, how did we all get over the christmas and the new year then?
I’ll give you a very brief recap. Went home on christmas eve’s eve, loaded down with presents. Dumped them under the tree and then dumped myself in front of the telly

Went to midnight mass on Christmas eve, only it wasn’t midnight it was at seven, but for some reason it is still called midnight mass. Reasons anyone? Twas very boring, our priest is like that priest on Father Ted with the world’s most boring voice. Only occasionally his Sligo accent will be erased by his Italian accent (He lived there for many years before returning to Ireland). I also got to see the new crib. It came all the way from Italy, and I think may have been designed to bling up the church.

You know the way a normal crib has Mary, Joeseph, some kid in a manger, maybe a few shepherds and a couple of farm animals? Well, this one already had the three kings kneeling in the straw, they are still on their way! Plus maybe five billion shepards^[1] a couple of hooker-looking goose-girls, a whole flock of sheep, a camel in the middle of the stable^[2] and bright and shining angels thrown around for good luck. Plus Mary was blonde. Whats up with that?

Ah well, enough with the boringness of religious ceremony, and on to the pressies. Have to say my gift of the shocking tanks went down a treat with the boys. Not only did brothers #4 & #5 give each other electric shocks, they also crept in on sleeping brothers^[3] #2 & #3 and shocked them awake. Or at least semi-conscious. See you get two remote control tanks, and you fire at each other with laser-type thingies, and when your tank gets shot you get an electric shock through the handset. Fun times! Just like when you used to touch electric fences as a kid for the little kick^[4] And when you lose by getting shot five times you get an extra long shock. Brother #4 was hi-larious, every time he got shocked he’d do this little kick out with his left foot. Every home should have a set of shocking tanks I tell you.

As usual the sister got covered in presents, but her main one from Santa was one that everyone else enjoyed. A keyboard which lit up as the keys were played, but which would also light up the keys so you could play various tunes and so learn them. Everyone had a go.

I got my printer, which we later tried out and yes, it does work, but was too much hassle to try and fit into my bag so the parentals should be visiting various peoples in Dublin in a short while, and I’ll get it from them then.

I didn’t bother getting up to see the Stephen’s Day Hunt this year. Once in a while I’ll pop up to the crossroads to take a look, but wasn’t in the mood this year. I did hear that numbers were very high, so I’m thinking that maybe a few relatives from the UK were over this year?

Which leads me on to Stephen’s Night out. And horror of horrors, the Garavogue^[5] has been renamed, now it is called The Left Bank, which I don’t like. Still went there though. Arrived at 7.30, and got home some time around 5. Thats all I’m saying, oh, that and vodka!

I also managed to take the dog (Can you spot him in the pic over on the right?) out every day I was home. Which was great as he really is getting too fat. The ickle puppy must be 5 at this stage, getting auld so he is. And that leads me neatly on to the latest pointless quiz I’ve taken:

DOG - Your daemon may be a dog if you are loyal and
caring, and like to know what is expected of
you. You probably are very family oriented, and
have a small group of friends that you are very
close to, rather than a large group of
acquaintances. You dislike confrontation, but
you will stand up and fight for the people and
issues that you really care about. You may
prefer someone else to take the lead in a
situation, although you would rather take the
lead yourself than have the situation fall
apart. You probably enjoy routine and order,
but that doesn’t mean you don’t like to have
fun. If anything, your friends probably know
you for getting intense, child-like pleasure in
the small things in life.

What Is Your Daemon?
brought to you by Quizilla Found Via Diamond’s LJ

Got a text message today, from da mudder’s phone, but I could tell that it wasn’t from her, but the sister. Wanted to know if I’d go see her in the pantomime this year, I suppose I will But that aint the reason for this post. Got chatting to da mudder afterwards.

From certain posts you may be aware that my family are, to put it mildly, accident prone. There was the head in a gate incident, the fractured elbow, the black fly incident and the knitting needle through hand incident^[1] to name but a few. Well turns out that although brother #5, the injured elbow-boy is doing okay, Brother #4 has had an altercation.

Coming out of the Four Lights^[2] he was punched by some random. And so tackled him in response. Only being a little worse for wear^[3] he ended up on the ground. Hit his head and broke his teeth. Nice, I don’t think. Still, he’ll be off to Gweedore soon enough for his apprentice-ship college-ification. That might keep him out of trouble.

Honestly, brothers!

Also enquired about the sister and what she was dressed up as…. The Corpse Bride. Hope they took photos. Took an age to get all the dye out of her hair this morning, or so da mudder told me.