Susan Hated Literature

Dir: Doug Liman
Writ: David S. Goyer, Jim Uhls, & Simon Kinberg. Based on book by Steven Gould

• Hayden Christensen … David Rice
• Samuel L. Jackson … Roland
• Diane Lane … Mary Rice
• Jamie Bell … Griffin
• Rachel Bilson … Millie

David Rice used to be your average chump. His word, not mine. But then he discovered that he could jump; transport himself instantly from one place to another. And suddenly his world is fabtastic. Money is easy, he simply jumps into a bank vault and jumps away with cash. Wants a holiday, or a change of scenery, then all he does is jumps somewhere new.

It actually sounds kinda ok. But to be honest this film sucks. Sucks sucks sucks. End of review. Short and sweet, but perfectly to the point

Dir: Philip G. Atwell
Writ: Lee Anthony Smith & Gregory J. Bradley

• Jet Li … Rogue
• Jason Statham … Jack Crawford
• Devon Aoki … Kira
• Luis Guzmán … Benny

Supposedly this is a martial-arts action film about an FBI agent hunting down an assassin because he killed the cop’s partner. But in reality there isn’t enough plot for that. Which is very surprising because there is a LOT of story and very little martial arts. There is a fair amount of action, but it is all things we’ve seen before.

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Writ & Dir: Emilio Estevez

• Harry Belafonte - Nelson
• Nick Cannon - Dwayne
• Emilio Estevez - Tim Fallon
• Laurence Fishburne - Edward Robinson
• Heather Graham - Angela
• Anthony Hopkins - John Casey
• Helen Hunt - Samantha
• Joshua Jackson - Wade
• Ashton Kutcher - Fisher
• William H. Macy - Paul
• Demi Moore - Virginia Fallon
• Freddy Rodríguez - José
• Martin Sheen - Jack
• Christian Slater - Timmons
• Sharon Stone - Miriam
• Jacob Vargas - Miguel
• Elijah Wood - William
• David Krumholtz - Phil

As you can see from that impressive cast list, this is a bit of an ensemble film, which means it runs the risk of the audience not caring about the characters. And I’m afraid it failed. I just didn’t care about any of them.

And the story itself was a whole heap of nothingness. I mean, I’m sure that it may have an impact on people who lived through the time, or for those who are big fans of Bobby Kennedy, but as a film it just didn’t work. It tried far too hard to push through some big message, but ended up coming over as heavy-handed, irrelevant and, to be blunt, crap. The various stories of the different characters are un-engaging. The acting is all fine, but the characters themselves are pointless. Pointless and boring. I kept hoping for it to end.

What did work was the insertion of clips of RFK, but to be honest, while I liked watching them I found it impossible to actually listen to anything that Bobby was saying. Maybe it was because I was so bored with the film, I don’t know.

Maybe it is because I don’t know anything about Bobby Kennedy, but this film did nothing but make me yawn. Then again, the film isn’t really about Bobby, it is about the people of the time and the affect he had on them. Everyone seemed to love him, or at least everyone in the film did, considering the fact that he got assassinated I’m sure someone must have disliked him. The film is a snapshot of one day in these various people’s lives, but that is it, there is nothing to focus on, or think about, or engage with. I just didn’t care about anything that happened.

Sure the ending works, but not because you care about any of the characters, but simply because it is people getting shot and panicking in a realistic manner. And of course because you know that this is all based on the truth.

Final verdict? Don’t bother with it. It’s crap.

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• Charlize Theron - Aeon Flux
• Marton Csokas - Trevor Goodchild
• Jonny Lee Miller - Oren Goodchild
• Sophie Okonedo - Sithandra

Yes I did know that this wasn’t supposed to be very good. I decided to go see it anyway. I figured that maybe it’d have a crap storyline but be cool to watch, you know like Equilibrium. But no. Not cool to watch. No cool plot. No cool characters. :sigh:

The :yawn: plot: In 2011 99% of the population die off cause of some disease. One great man comes along and develops a vaccine, and the rest of the population live in one city, walled off from the rest of the world. This man’s decendents run the world, what little of it is still left, but there are those who see the problems in this utopia and are out to stop it. One of these “freedom fighters” is Aeon Flux.

Okay, so is some cool stuff. The costumes look weird and pretty. A lot of the technology is interesting, I liked the ingestible messages. They were cool.

But for the rest, yawn, yawn, yawn. Predictable, boring and totally unoriginal. I hope the cartoon was better, cause if not why on earth did people watch it.

Also, can someone explain why everyone had unusual names, even Una was pronounced a “bit foreign” apart from Trevor. I mean, I’ve nothing against Trevor as a name, but in a world of Aeons, Orens, Sithandras and Inaris?

As for the acting? Well dire would be an accurate description. Never once did you see any emotion. I think they must have realised what a crap film they were in and given up. Only explanation.

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ISBN: 1416502882
813.54
Novelization of the film by the same name.

Where do you start when you go to write a novelization? Do you just stick to the script, or go off on little tangents of your own? How much can you make up, do you get to collaborate with the director, or talk to any of the actors? Must be pretty hard, imo, to get a good book out of a film, any film.

And I suppose, even more so with Serenity. After all, Joss is god, so how could anyone else do anything but struggle to reinterpret his ‘verse?

This is not a good read, too much of it is like bad fan fiction, only without the benefit of mad sidelines and impossible storylines. I suppose we all have our versions of what goes on inside the characters’ heads, but I rarely agreed with what DeCandido put there.

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• Michael Pitt …. Blake
• Lukas Haas …. Luke
• Asia Argento …. Asia
• Scott Green …. Scott

Opening with a scene of Blake stumbling and mumbling his way through the woods this film almost always looks great and interesting. Unfortunately it isn’t. It is a boring, one-note tale of a “rock and roll” cliche that never engages with the audience. Blake mutters and grunts to himself throughout the film, very rarely saying anything at all recognisable and the other characters seem to spend most of their time in bed.

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• Vin Diesel …. Shane Wolfe
• Lauren Graham …. Principal Claire Fletcher
• Faith Ford …. Julie Plumm

Terrible, terrible film. But then again we already knew that from the poster didn’t we. And the premise was horrible. I blame Copper-copper for asking me did I want to go.

Shane Wolfe is a navy seal who ends up babysitting some kids as their mother heads off to Switzerland to try and gain access to a security deposit bank. In the process she meets a person with the worst French-type accent I have ever heard. Ever. Yes, it was that bad.

Most of the film revolves around the humourous escapades of Wolfe as he attempts to teach these children discipline, and they in turn try to escape, before, eventually, coming to realise how great he is. Wolfe learns that family and love are great things. Sounds fantastic doesn’t it.

I suppose it isn’t all bad. I mean there are one or two laughs in it. The girl asking about Wolfe’s boobs stands out It is aimed at children and there were a fair few in the cinema who seemed to enjoy it.

So a while it was truely horrendous, maybe it wasn’t all bad. If you’re 7 years old.

IMDb site