Computer says no

On my usual walk to work I encounter a considerable number of those free-newspaper-giver-outers[1] And all of them annoy me. Apart from the one I always take the Metro from. I always get it from the same guy[2] in the general vicinity of The Spike[3] And I usually carry it in my hand for the rest of my journey. So it is obvious to all that I have a bloody paper[4] Yet still, they stand in my[5] way with the bloody free papers, or even worse stick them out in front of me[6] as I go by.

But, whatever! I can deal[7] with that, although I did prefer that week, or was it two, when they reduced numbers and just left loads of the basket thingies around. Anway, that is beside the point.

This week there were the paper-peoples[8] but also a few other randoms giving out crap[9] One of whom filled my hands with L’Oreal product. Yay, you might say, but you’d be wrong. Cause it is L’Oreal men expert. So manly the stuff itself is actually blue[10] Could it get manlier? And, as I’ve mentioned before on this blog, I is not a man. And I think that this is pretty obvious[11] So why did this depositor-of-free-stuff-you-don’t-want-and-are-trying-to-avoid go out of her way to give it to me?

And… what is to be done with it? None of the fellas I know would be bothered with that sort of product. Plus, I saw that spanner from Lost advertising it on d’telly. And if Jack, aka Matthew Fox, aka annoying-preachy-pesky-tortured-soul-who-wants-to-help-save -EVERYONE-by-controlling-them-to-within-an-inch-of-his-life recommends something then it must be the spawn of Satan. Or at the very least the left over pieces of a hatch, or polar bear. Something I want nothing to do with.

So, peoples of www-land, what can I possibly do with three whole sachets of L’Oreal Men Expert?


  1. so have I designated them
  2. he smiles and always says hi
  3. Spire, pointless waste of taxpayers money, work of art, giant needle, whatever you want to call it
  4. errr not literally. Or at least, if it is actually bloody I will have a much more interesting post for yall, wont I?
  5. and other peoples too, but others arent even a quarter as important as me
  6. cause then you have detour around them and their outstretched hand with takes up half the footpath. Or dodge around them as they run for the bus. I hates that.
  7. just about
  8. shorter and more succinct designation
  9. Once it was cool crap, a squeezable pig that I still have.
  10. I mean, come on!
  11. more obvious in real life than online, obviously

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