Rome returns. Starting up just where last season left off, with the death of Caesar Cue plenty of threats and plenty of political scrambling as the implications become clear. Honesty didn’t Servilia even think about the aftermath? I guess not, too tied up in the “jealous scorned woman role”. Anthony isn’t best pleased, as you might suppose. Especially when that dog Quintus and his posse try to kill him. He escapes, and ends up in Atia’s house making plans to escape to the North, and of course then return in order to eat the livers of his enemies Don’t you just love Anthony’s threats
But after the reading of the Caesar’s will, where it is revealed that Ocatavian gets everything, it is decided that they will remain in Rome, and pretend to make nice with the evil mo-fos who stabbed Caesar. Anthony of course isn’t too happy, but he goes along with the making nice to Brutus and his friends. Quintus is a different matter, and Anthony takes his frustrations out on him by slicing open his throat. The civilised ways of Rome are to be admired, neh?
But Caesar isn’t the only one who died at the end of the last season. Poor old Vorenus is trying to cope with the death of Niobe. And if we know anything about Lamb it is that he really isn’t the best when dealing with emotions and anger. So what does he do but curse his family and then wander out into the streets of the city where he is promptly headbutted and robbed by a blind beggar.
But it isn’t all doom and gloom in Romeland, oh no, for Pullo and his slave-girl are off having a picnic. Enjoying themselves. Pullo even proposes to Eirene. And she accepts! Now I’m well aware that Chicken is attractive and mmm-worthy, but this is the dude who bashed in Eirene’s lover’s head in season 1. Do we trust Eirene?
As they sit, discussing whether Pullo should be called Master or honey by Eirene a fella on a horse comes rushing by, shouting that Caesar is dead. Which of course gets Pullo’s attention. He knocks yer man off the horse, and rides back to Rome, Eirene in tow. Where he discovers what has happened at Lamb’s house. There is also the issue of Lamb’s children, they seem to have disappeared, which doesn’t make Vorenus any happier, he really wants to uncurse them We, of course, know that Erastes took them, so unlike Pullo we really aren’t expecting them to wander home again. In a later discussion with Octavian Pullo finds out exactly how Servilia knew all about Vorenus’ domestic affairs. Octavian told his sister, who told Servilia who took full advantage.
Pullo also offers Octavian his sympathies on the death of his uncle, and then his congratulations when he is told that Octavian is Caesar’s heir. And promises to help him avenge his death.
Time for the funerals. Both Niobe and Caesar head off into the afterworld. Niobe in the countryside and with only a few to mark her passing. Caesar in the middle of Rome with all the people in attendance. We don’t get to hear either Brutus or Anthony speak. But their performances are related to us by one of Erastes’ bully-boys. But I’ve skipped the part where Pullo and Vorenus find out that the children have been taken by Erastes. Now I’ve told you. So, onwards with the recap; Erastes listens as his follower rambles on about how he was there, right at the front, when Brutus made his high-falutin’ speech about Rome and duty blah blah blah. But when Anthony spoke, he had the crowd eating out of his hands, all fired up and in mourning for their poor dead tyrant. Erastes doesn’t like this. Rambles on about a lack of respect. That Anthony is nothing but a thug and if any of his men even think about joining in the looting… well, lets just say that threats were made. Angry, he wanders off to the sauna, but his relaxation is disturbed by what sounds like a fight in the pub. He shouts at them to shut up and take it outside but gets no response. Apart from Vorenus, who would really appreciate it if Erastes told him where his children were. Erastes isn’t about to reveal anything, and tries to bluff his way out of the situation, until he discovers that Pullo is the only man left standing in the pub. He and Vorenus have slaughtered Erastes’ proto-mafia-types.
Still, Erastes isn’t about to make Vorenus any happier. He admits to taking the children, in response to any number of slights made against his person. And, when Vorenus demands to know where they are, Erastes tells him “I fuckked them. Then I killed them. Then I threw them in the river.” Vorenus chops his head off.
And then wanders through the streets of Rome, covered in blood and with a severed head in his hands.