that the source matter was riddled with factual errors, gaping plot holes and logical knots that even Descartes could not untangle

11 June 2006

Over the past few days I’ve been to see three films. And they were all crap.

First off I went to see Poseidon, which I expected to be crap, and so actually enjoyed it. A good mindless piece of entertainment.

But then I went to see X-Men: The Last Stand. Now after Singer left I thought it would be as good, so lowered my expectations. But obviously not enough. It was a mess. Too many storylines and not enough time to develop them. Good special effects and stunt work, but rubbish dialogue.

And finally The Da Vinci Code. Sigh. It actually lowered my opinion of humanity. To think that there are people out there who believe that this is true! I haven’t been able to review it yet, because of its dullness, I may try later. But in to boil it down, boredom, followed by a patch of dullness, culminating in an ending that isn’t actually and ending but instead you have to sit through another 30 minutes of pointless exposition that makes little if any sense.

So, not a good movie going week. Although in the latest Wind That Shakes The Barley trailer I saw, Cillian didn’t sound quite so Gift Grub Roy. Which is a relief.

And also, to any New Zealanders out there, can I just say “You Bastards!”

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9 Responses

  1. weenie says:

    Sorry to hear about your crap movie week – I'm still going to see X3 cos I love the X-Men. I was into the comics so know all about crap dialogue!

    Da Vinci Code – guess I'm at the bottom of humanity cos I think there could be some truth in there somewhere (as well as the made up stuff)!

  2. Fence says:

    I love the first two too. And no matter what anyone else said about it I would've gone to see it too :) And it probably isn't as bad as I've suggested. It's just that I really enjoyed the other ones, and think that this had so much potential.

    Ah, see you saved yourself from the bottom rung by saying that some of it was made up. I have no problem with believing that the bible isn't true. But just because it isn't doesn't mean that the other versions that didn't make it into the bible are true either.
    And the whole idea of using a work of art painted 100's of years later as some sort of proof?

    But I would've had no problem with that it if hadn't been for the crapness of the film.

  3. levee says:

    Oh dear. I'd been planning to go along to at least X-Men or Da Vinci Code this week.

    When it comes down to the wire, though, I'll choose cartoon action over boredom anyday. Plus I was baffled by 'Darth Silas' in the Da Vinci Code picture. Either way, I get to watch McKellen in action.

  4. Fence says:

    The X-Men is the better film. By far. Easily. It could have been ten times worse and it still would've been the better film :)

  5. Mal says:

    What's so unbelievable about the Da Vinci Code? The disciple beside Jesus in the Last Supper doesn't have a beard. And the space between "him" and Jesus describes a V. Therefore Jesus had babies. It makes perfect sense.

  6. Fence says:

    Well, now that you've said it Mal… I'm converted. Let us bring down the Vatican, indeed, let us destroy all organised religion. And non-organised too. Obviously they do nowt but spread falsehoods.

  7. anne says:

    OK that settles it. I'll save my Da-Vinci-Code money for something more worthwhile. Like American Dreamz…

  8. Ann says:

    I agree with you 100% on both X-Men and DaVinci Code. I so loved the first 2 X-Men movies and the third was just such a bitter, jumbled disappointment. Boohooo. Superman better be pretty fecking special, that's all I can say. Otherwise, I might have to have some harsh words with Mr. Singer.

    We nearly saw Posiedon this weekend but on the day Peter wanted to go, I didn't want to go so I gave him a raincheck for Sunday but then he rainchecked my raincheck. There's a special place in my heart for 70s disaster films so I am skeptical of this remake. I am skeptical of remakes in general. What's the point, particularly if you're not going to really add anything new. (Yes, Flight of the Phoenix, I am talking to you – one female character does not a revolution make.)

  9. Fence says:

    Actually American Dreamz (dreamz with a z) not looking so bad when compared to the Da Vinci Code Anne.

    If you are saying that Flight of the Phoenix was a bit shite Ann, I'd have to agree. But Poseidon is much better than that.