Sometimes you just wanna duct-tape her mouth and dump her in the hold for a month

23 February 2006

Every single day between 10 and 11 in the morning they come. The hospitality students. On a break from class. And every day they head straight for the computers. And every day I tell them to sign in. And every day they don’t, until I remind them to.

We only have 4 computers. They are for research only. There are signs across the top saying No Email. There is another computer. It is only for searching the OPAC. It says this. In big letters across the top. O.P.A.C. Even the screensaver says “this is only for searching the catalogue. Do not use this for dicking around online or you will be asked to remove yourself from the computer. If you do not comply, it may very well explode.” [1]

Every day 10 or 20 students come in. Standing around the four ‘puters. The four that manage to sit use the computers to send emails. And to print out CVs. Every day. And every day someone will wander over and sit at the OPAC computer and use it to write emails.

Every. Single. Day.

And every day they chat and talk and discuss various whatnots. And every day I am tempted to ask them, in a Mal or Jayne fashion “if they were aware that this here building is a liberry? And you know what we do in liberries? We keep our gorram air-holes shut, not yammering like dumb-ass[2] hogs.”

Instead, I tell them to keep it down.

But one day I’ll drawl at them. One day.

Course, they won’t understand me, seeing as they are all foreign, and that is why I don’t really mind them sending emails, cause it is their contact with their home. But still. You know, just glance up at them chatterings and say “Y’all might want to keep it down a mite.”

I don’t shush them. That’d be far too cliched.

And every day one of those mobile phones will erupt. Or I’ll hear someone carrying on a conversation on them. And I’ll ask them to leave. And they do. But I never impose the fine, cause they are always so gorram apologetic when they finally make their return. But, hell, iffin they are so sorry why don’t they learn their lesson for their next visit?

Sometimes peoples really do make you go hmmmmm.


  1. – there may be a very slight lie in there somewhere.
  2. dumb here clearly means stoooopid, rather than lacking the ability to talk. just in case you were wondering

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11 Responses

  1. ams says:

    bashing them over the head with a keyboard sounds like a good option here

  2. anne says:

    Kill one, no warning. That'll be the others' lesson.

  3. Fence says:

    Aren't there any pacifists left in this world :)

  4. Anji says:

    You only have to watch people pulling on a door that says 'push'.

  5. Kelly says:

    This time I have nothing smarmy to say, because I can see both sides. Well, which you can, too, obviously. Four computers is a sad, sad, lowly number to grace a library full of students who need them.

    Grr, though, EVERYBODY talks through EVERYTHING nowadays, don't they? I wish the library was quieter, here, too. And I almost can't stand going out to see movies anymore, what with all the people chattering behind and before me. Or checking their lighted cell phones for messages.

    Librarians are s'posed to be shushy! I say go for it. =o)

  6. Fence says:

    Anji yes, I had a girl try to open the door only to walk smack into it. Despite the fact that it was already partly open, and so even more obvious which way it opened.

    Kelly, seeing the other side really sucks sometimes :) Although there is no excuse for using your mobile at the cinema once the film has started. NONE. EVER.

  7. NineMoons says:

    I agree with Anne. But I would embellish it by adding that the head of the offending student should be stuck on a pole near the computers with a sign saying simply "He used the OPAC for email".
    And surely your liberry is not the only loc for puters in the college? No quarter should be given.

  8. Fence says:

    No. there are other labs that the students should be using for whatever rubbish they want to do. And there is a wi-fi area set up for laptopped of them.

    I is the only one allowed to surf randomly in the liberry. I! and I alone.

  9. NineMoons says:

    Well, if they want to surf randomly in the liberry, they will have to endure the hell of the Dip. Lis. themselves. Tis as simple as that.

  10. cybercelt says:

    Put up a sign:

    Trespassers will be violated.
    Survivors will be shot.

    It works in Texas.

  11. sally says:

    A headless dummy with a sign across the neck thst says, "If only I kept my voice down…".