I have come to the conclusion that something, out there :eek: , somewhere, is conspiring to get me. Every day objects have been turned into weapons. Perhaps not of the mass destruction variety. Not even of minor destruction, but weapons of minor annoyance.
And we all know how damaging minor annoyances can be. After all, annoyance leads to irritation. Irritation to anger, and anger to… yes that’s right; The Dark Side.
You already know about the tinfoil incident. But that was not the last such occurrence. Today the photocopier tried to chop my finger off. Luckily I escaped with merely a teeny tiny cut, but I know its game. Oh yes. It cannot fool me.
But it isn’t only physical damage these appliances are determined to inflict. On Sat as I attempted to cook some food, not one, not two, but four sausages escaped the grill and landed on the floor. The oven was trying to starve me into submission. Luckily the rashers fared better, so we did not give in.
They won’t defeat me. I shall fight on. I shall not be overcome. I shall fight on as though I have so much heart that it’d explode all over the television