Susan Hated Literature

Went to the kino last night, to see Memoirs of a Geisha, which was pretty but ever so boring. Anyways, while there I noticed a startling amount of posters for really terrible looking films. I was so busy pointing out the horrible looking adverts that I walked straight past the screen that we were going to. Not that NM noticed, but then again, I did have na ticéadaí, so we’ll let her away with it this once.

But the prize for worst idea ever must go to The Adventures of Greyfriars Bobby.

For those of you who don’t know, Greyfriars Bobby was a little Skye Terrier who was so faithful to his master that he sat on his grave for 14 years. So not a life packed with adventures. And although there has been a film made before, possibly more, I don’t think this recent effort is really in the spirit of the true story.

Course, if you even look at the poster, which you can see by visiting the official site you will see they obviously don’t care about the real story. Because instead of a Skye Terrier they have a West Highland terrier. Now, all credit to the westies of the world, but, at the end of the day, they aren’t Skyes are they? But like remaking lassie and using a border collie instead of a rough collie. And I haven’t even mentioned the kids. I’d have to say I’m rather a little bemused by it all.

There was however a trailer for the new Tristian and Isolde film. Now despite looking more like Roar^[1] than anything else I’ll still be going to see it^[2] But the trailer VO man did make NM wonder about the pronunciation of Isolde. Personally I don’t know the “real” way. I think I’d say it something like Isuelt? Anyone know.

• Ziyi Zhang …. Sayuri
• Youki Kudoh …. Pumpkin
• Li Gong …. Hatsumomo
• Ken Watanabe …. Chairman
• Kôji Yakusho …. Nobu
• Michelle Yeoh …. Mameha

In short, this is a film that is pretty to look at, but boring to watch.

Okay, I’ll say a bit more about it:
Based on the novel by Arthur Golden, Memoirs of a Geisha has been somewhat controversial. Some people complained about casting Chinese actors in the roles of Japanese women. And recently China banned it because, well I suppose because of their historical issues with Japan.
The film opens with two young sisters being sold by their father, one of whom is our heroine. I’m going to call her Sayuri, although she only gets this name later in the film. Sayuri ends up in a geisha house, and is mistreated by the head geisha, Hatsumomo, because of the possibility that she will grow up to be a rival to Hatsumomo.

Too much of the film is spent in her childhood. There is no tension in this entire period. We can’t hope that she escapes from the house because we know that she doesn’t. the film is called Memoirs of a Geisha afterall, not Memoirs of a someone who once spent some time in training to be a geisha.

But eventually Sayuri grows up, and is taken under Mameha’s wing. Mameha is Hatsumomo’s rival, and there is much bitching and snide comments between the two, and also between Hatsumomo and Sayuri, as Sayuri attempts to learn how to be geisha. But the comments are never quite bitchy enough, they don’t make an impact, although we do get the impression that Hatsumomo wishes looks really could kill.

One of the big problems I had with the film is that you just don’t care. You aren’t really invited into the world of the geisha’s, you are simply a distant onlooker. We never really know what a geisha is, apart from a skillful entertainer, and an artist.

There is quite a big deal made about the fact that being a geisha is not to be a prostitute. Yet they sell off their virginity. Getting money for sex means prostitution, doesn’t matter how classy you pretend to be.

And the whole romance thing with The Chairman was utterly boring to me. I mean, were we really supposed to believe that she fell in love with him when she was nine, and her feelings never altered? Then again I suppose it was meant to show her determination. Sayuri was so taken with his little act of kindness that she built him up and made him the goal of her future.

But all in all the film is too long, too distant, and this may be petty, but the accents annoyed me. I’d much prefered to have watched it subtitled in Japanese, although they probably would have had a problem with the cast not speaking the language then.

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