How bad can it get?

30 June 2005


Script:
Cast: ,

So Wed. are pretty bad tv-wise. Come to think of it, the whole week is pretty bad for tv that I like. I mean, I watch Lost, but I’m not hooked on it. Though I think it has more to do with my dislike of Party of Five than anything else. But back to my point; wed tv.

Can you guess the horrors I stooped to?
Richard Gere. Richard fucking Gere!!! And with a horrible, dreadful, disgraceful oirish accent. And playing an IRA terrorist! Yes readers, I stooped to The Jackal. And not only that, but I’d seen it before, and hated it then too!.

I know, I could have spent those two hours flicking from station to station, but I didn’t. I watched all of it. Let’s all quote Marlon Brando The horror! The horror!

So, a question for all you non-Irishers out there – do you really think that that is what the (any) Irish accent sounds like?
It was almost as bad as Tom “Brain Lesion” [1]Cruise’s in that piece of shite. And not only was the accent terrible, the whole film stank. What was the deal with the 20 minutes of slo-mo everytime Bruce Willis and Gere spotted each other? Why on earth are we expected to think that letting an IRA terrorist (a murderer lets not forget) go is a good thing, simply because he helped catch/kill (to ruin the surprise) a baddie that he hated in the first place?

[1] – Mr. Cruise is obviously suffering from something at the moment (all through his life). Whether this is simply a PR campaign gone bad, scientology’s new marketing campaign, a mid-life crisis, or something totally different, I can’t say. But Nine Moons suggested a brain lesion, and it is as good an explanation as any.

You may also like...

16 Responses

  1. AMS says:

    Ive been stuck without NTL for the last 6 months and have been scraping the barrell TV wise as well. It sucks

  2. NineMoons says:

    Oh God my poor darling. I flicked past it for a second last night (in between bouts of frenetic pre-visitors cleaning) and was horror struck by the frosted lucky charms of Richard Gere! At least the Brain Lesion's appalling tooralooraloo could be explained away by the fact that it was set fado fado and who knows what they talked like then etc. But this took the biccie extremely.

    My feckin stupid bitca sista has messed around stuff tonight so I don't know what I'm doing. Are you hangin at home or did you have plans? I can always shop when I'm time-killing so I won't be stuck. Will call you at 5.30 ish, OK?

  3. NineMoons says:

    Oh, Party of Five! that's where lost fella is from. It was really annoying me…
    Well, not really cos I could have asked or checked IMDB but still…

  4. Fence says:

    Well I was vaguely thinking of heading to the kino for that Kung Fu thingy, but haven't even looked up times or nuffink. Shows how interested I is, so have keine plans.

  5. NineMoons says:

    HJave to be on Dorset street at 7 so can I come up to yours in the meantime? In town around 5.45 depending on traffic. Text to respond…

  6. Ugh, Richard Gere IS a bad sign!

  7. Fence says:

    AMS the thing is I have NTL, but there was still nothing else.

    And I agree, Richard Gere is ugh. Never been a fan.

  8. NineMoons says:

    Don't know if you noted this but since Buffy and Angel ended, there's nothing really worth staying in for on TV anymore(1). I mean, you can watch er and the Sopranos and Scrubs and other things off and on or even every week but for me must-watch tv ended when Angel and co went to work in the alley.
    (1) Except for the cousin being on Fair City and me having to stay in to watch it,

  9. Anne says:

    Was Tommy Lee Jones' accent believable in Blown away? Cause I thought it was quite good…
    And was Richard Gere's accent as ludicrous as Jessica Lange's Scottish brogue in Rob Roy?

  10. Fence says:

    Never seen blown away, so can't comment on TLJ

    Don't remember much of Rob Roy.

    Not much help there am I? But Gere was very bad. Very very bad.

  11. Yay Fence. I hate Tom Cruise and Richard Gere (only the latter is slightly more bearable).

    Sean Connery's Spanish accent in Highlander is dreadful ;o)

  12. Fence says:

    Ah yes, the wondeful scottish egyptian accent ;)

  13. I saw Gere doing a horrible Western accent in Somersby (alongside Jodie fucking Foster, with her lispy lesbo drawl). Gere should be shot at the first sign he is attempting ANY accent but his own dismal one.

    Fence, I vow to comment more on your blog. Loving it.

    Dindola

  14. Fence says:

    Dena I've seen that Somersby crap; somehow despite my dislike of Gere I've seen a few of his films. More's the pity.

  1. 5 July 2005

    […] story by Jon Snow

    Remember when I mention Tom Cruise in relation to brain lesions (it wasn’t all that long ago), well, I came across this article in the Guar […]

  2. 7 July 2005

    […] t it was going to be crap, and was I ever right? The start isn’t too bad. We see Tom “Brain Lesion” Cruise as a fairly crap parent. He’s not a bad […]